When You Were Young
by SkinnyLove77
Summary: Isabelle Arken will never forgive Daryl for leaving her after they left the Greene farm. That much she knew. Then suddenly their paths cross again when Daryl insists on rejoining the group. She swears she hates him and he swears he doesn't care, but as they're forced together they begin to realize old habits die hard, and maybe it's not a bad thing. Sequel to "The Only Exception."
1. Chapter One- Oats in the Water

*** If you haven't read the my first story _The Only Exception_, you might not get some of the stuff in this because it's the sequel, but I tried to explain stuff as best as I could for those who haven't read it. And just to let everyone know, this story doesn't follow the Walking Dead's plotline exactly. It has a lot of the same events, but I figured most of you have already seen the show and have seen the same old stuff, so I add a lot of new events and characters that ARENT in the show. Anyways, I hope you enjoy

1- Oats in the Water

Thick heat clouded the woods, sending sweat dripping down my face and nearly every inch of exposed skin. The high noon sun beat down furiously, and I stalked through the woods alone, my eyes peeled and gun ready. I needed to be back before dinner if anybody wanted to eat, and it was all on me. The woods were unfamiliar and dense, green growing wild over everything. I didn't stop to take in its beauty. I had to get to work.

I stopped suddenly when I heard the snap of a twig. I bent down on my knees bent and peered around. Hopefully it was a deer and not a walker. We needed to eat tonight. I needed to bring something back.

We had been on the road for eight months since the farm was overrun. Shane, Dale and Patricia are dead. Lori's pregnant. Abi's sick. Daryl's still gone.

Nothing was okay.

We hid out in old houses from night to night, living off of cat food and expired cans of fruit. We hadn't wandered far from the Greene house, hovering around the outskirts and backwoods of Atlanta. There was no one to hunt, so I had taken over the responsibility, after I got a little more stable because after that night, like everything else, I had changed.

To begin, I chopped my hair off, and it sat just past my shoulders now, tangling every which way. I started carrying a gun on me at all times, no exceptions. I didn't hang out with anyone besides T-Dog and Glenn, and I think everyone was okay with that part. They all looked at me differently now, but I could care less. It got worse after Abi came down with whatever she has now. If she… died, it would be the end of me. I would have nothing left.

I was preparing for that possibility.

There was another crack and I drew my gun up high. On the other side of the small creek a deer ate at a wiry bush, trying to scavenge whatever she could. I cocked the gun quietly, but she heard. Before she could move another step, I sent a bullet through her head. Eight months ago I probably would have started crying at the sight of a dead deer, but nothing could stop my smile right now. It had been at least 4 months since we ate real meat, and I'd been tracking this deer for miles. I ran down the bank, and splashed through the water. I started to climb the muddy creek wall but stopped abruptly.

Talking. I heard talking.

On instinct, I pressed myself against the wall and didn't move a muscle until the voices came within earshot. Their footsteps took no time at all to reach the me.

"Did you hear it? It was definitely a fuckin' gun shot, Taylor." A woman's voice said.

"Yeah, I heard it. How couldn't I?" A man replied.

"Look there!" Said the woman.

My body tensed and I held a breath. They saw me.

"Holy shit, it's a deer." The man said.

The footsteps grew even nearer. "I bet the guy heard us and ran off or somethin'. Lucky for us." He said. "Now help me get this up."

Suddenly I was racing up the wall, not caring if they had weapons. I swung my leg over the side and pounced up, pointing my handgun straight at them.

"Drop the deer." I commanded.

The man held still.

"Drop it!" I said again.

He did and then held his hands up.

"Give me your guns." I said, out of nowhere.

"Whoa, chick, I don't know who you think you are-"

"Just give me your guns and go." I said, my voice not wavering an inch.

The woman stepped closer. "There's no need to do that."

I cocked my gun.

"We isn't givin' you our guns." The man said, slowly.

I turned to point it at the woman when the man jumped me, knocking my gun out of my hands and pinning me to the ground.

"Get off me!"

"Sorry, bitch." The woman said, picking up my gun. "Should we shoot 'er?"

The man looked down at me and then up at her. I spat at him.

"They'll want us to bring her back." He said.

She fingered my gun then kicked at the buck. "I guess you're right. But maybe he'll let us kill her."

The man shook his head. "He wouldn't, you know that."

She shrugged. "But it could be fun to get a nice beatin' on her."

"Fuck you." I said, my voice hoarse and breathy. "Let me go."

He chuckled darkly. "Not a chance in hell, sweetheart.

I felt him wrap my hands up with something and he pulled me to my feet. The moment he did I took of running, my hands still pinned behind my back. I single gunshot sent me to the ground. I hadn't been shot, but the threat had stopped me.

He walked over to me, almost laughing as he pulled me to my feet once again.

"You get the warning?"

I was silent.

"You walk the girl, Venessa. I'll get the deer."

"Why do _I_ have to walk the psycho?" She argued.

"Because you're not strong enough to carry the deer back to camp." He said, handing me off to her. I bit at her face, my teeth snapping millimeters away from her nose, trying to be as psychotic as she probably thought I was. I laughed internally at her scared shitless reaction.

She composed herself and pressed the gun hard in my side.

"Don't try anything."

She looked older than me, maybe 26 or 27. She was short-ish and thin, with bright blue eyes set against glowy olive skin and light brown hair. I was about 90 percent sure she was the pretty bitch everybody hated in high school.

She kept the gun deep in my side as we walked through the woods. The man holding the deer over his shoulders was tall and tan, with short blonde hair. He looked in his late twenties.

"You shoulda reconsidered who you were messin' with." The girl said.

"I don't have any regrets." I said, and then yelped in pain as she dug the gun into my skin.

"Not yet."

I rolled my eyes. "Where are you even taking me? Does your Klan have a torture shack, or what?"

She scoffed and looked to the man. "Did you hear her?"

He looked like he was suppressing a laugh.

She glared back to me. "We aren't a part of the KKK."

"So what is it? A cult? I thought you looked kind of pale. Maybe it's all the blood sacrificing."

She grabbed her face in horror.

"What? Do you not sacrifice it? Ah, you must be a drinker then-"

"Shut up!" She yelled. "We're not in a cult, you stupid bitch."

"Could have fooled me." I said. "They take hostages like this. Sacrifice them to the Devil blah blah, you should know the drill.

I heard the man laughing silently next to her.

"Taylor?" She asked, incredulously.

"You got quite a mouth on you." He said to me.

The girl scowled. "She's just _charming_."

I shrugged as she pushed me a little. "Keep walking."

"Yes sir." I retorted. She ignored me and we walked farther. It took us nearly ten minutes to get to clearing, and after we crossed it, it took us only five to get close to wherever we were going.

"We're close." The girl said to me, coldly.

"To where?" I asked.

"Our camp, dumb shit."

"Me-ow." I said under my breath. Suddenly she had stopped and her gun was at my throat.

"Say one more thing and I swear I will kill you right here and now." She snapped.

"Do it." I challenged, only because I knew she wouldn't. I knew her kind, because I used to be the same. Giving empty threats, and surviving on the hope of empty promises from the people I trusted most. That was over now.

The man was pulling her back in a matter of seconds. "It's not worth it, Vennessa. Come one."

She gave one more dangerous look at me and pushed me forward. We only had to walk a few more steps before another small clearing came into view, filled with tents and clotheslines and a few trucks. People were roaming around, and a few fires were going. Some of them gave us strange looks or nods as we entered the clearing. I had a feeling I wasn't the only person they'd brought here.

"Home sweet home." The Taylor man said, throwing the deer down on the end of a tailgate. Some people smiled and gathered around when they saw the deer. I watched with them as he hopped on the tailgate next to it, standing to face everybody.

"We got dinner, everybody!" He said. The people cheered and he smiled. "But, we also have an…. out of control captive among us." He said, looking to me.

"Like the others, I advise you to be careful around her until our leaders get back." Everybody followed his gaze. I smiled, sarcastically at them, wishing my hand was free to do a pageant wave.

Someone was probably going to shoot me one of these days for being such a smart ass.

"We will keep her near the north of camp until they tell us what to do with her."

Murmurs and glances filled the crowed of maybe twenty. I was about to say something sarcastic and rude when the Vennessa girl pulled me along.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"The tie tree," she said with a smug smile.

Well, didn't that sound just pleasant.

She took me across the camp, going slowly so everyone could have a good look at their 'out of control' captive. I did my best to put on a good show. I struggled a cursed and spat. They looked at me, disgusted and satisfied that such a lunatic was tied up. It was thoroughly amusing.

We finally stopped at a small tree on the edge of the campsite. It had a metal chain wrapped several times around the trunk with a pair of handcuffs attached to one of the ends.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

She smiled, her white teeth gleaming. "It's where we tie up piece of shit thieves like you."

"Just think about that when you're eating _my _kill," I said, matching her fake smile. Her eyes narrowed and she pushed me to the ground. They never left mine as she put the handcuffs tightly around my wrists and took the rope that had previously held them together off, doing everything with more force than necessary.

"What do you want me to call you? Or is dog shit good with you?" She asked.

"Don't call me anything."

"I'll call you dog shit, then."

I rolled my eyes.

"Isabelle." I said. I would have said Arken, but I wasn't in the mood for explaining the last name thing, like I had to do with nearly everyone. Plus she didn't deserve to call me what I went by.

"How pretty," She mocked. "I'm Vennessa, more commonly known as Nes-"

"I don't care." I cut her off. She scowled and then kicked me hard in the thigh. I tried not to look effected.

"Good thing you have me tied to a tree," I said. "I would kick your ass so hard."

She rolled her eyes. "Have fun with that. I'll send our leaders when they get back." She said, kissing the key and shoving it in her back pocket. She walked off, hips swaying.

I was there for the rest of the night.

No one came back to check on me or look at me or say something witty just because I was tied to a tree and they weren't. They kept their distance. I fell asleep with bark digging into my back and mosquito's eating me alive only for a few moments before the group laughing down by the campfire woke me up again.

I gave them a glare they wouldn't ever see. Despite the suffocating heat, uncomfortable position and swelling rage, it wasn't the worst spot I had been in.

Four months earlier, when I was still on my emotional rampage, I ran into a group of men while I was on a run with Glenn. He'd told me to stay away, and I should have listened. I was so lonely and they were the closest thing to amusement I could get. Plus I had been flirting with men for food for months now, and so far it had been a success. I wanted to take my mind off of Abi being sick, and Lori throwing up and _him_ not coming back.

I really thought he'd come back.

"Hey there," the greasy man with a beard had said to me when I approached their group in an empty Wal-Mart, a black tooth showing when he smiled. I flipped my hair back and tried to bat my eyes.

"What's a thing like you doin' wonderin' out here by yourself?" He asked.

"The guy I'm with is getting water from that truck down there. What are you guys up to?"

A man with a blonde beard who looked to be three times my age stepped closer. "Just smokin' some cigs. We live on the inside. Gotta lotta food."

"Got any extra?" I asked, playfully.

"Sure." He winked. "At a price."

I bit down on my lip. "And what would that be?" I expected it to be for me to spend a little time with them, keep them company for just a little while. I might have actually kissed one of them if it came down to it. It was all for the food. It was all for survival.

He exchanged a glace with grease man and nodded for me to follow him. I did, walking in between the two of them. He led me to the men's restroom. There were towels laid out in the middle of the floor and a putrid smell wafted from the stalls. A lit lantern hung from the ceiling. I stood with my as one of the stalls opened and a man walked out, looking like the two I was with. Behind him out came an older woman. She was stuffing a can into her bag and trying to readjust a bra strap. Grease man waited until they were out before moving close to me. He kissed me once, with sour, horrible breath before pulling on my bra strap. "Five minutes for two cans and a bottle of water. Doubles for every ten more minutes."

Oh my God. I had walked straight into a whorehouse.

I stepped away from him. "No- no."

He moved closer to me again, taking my waist in his hands.

"You walked in here, lady. You ain't walkin out."

I pushed him off again and glared. "I thought-"

"You thought what? I was bringin' you in here to give you free food?" They both laughed. "Everything's got a price."

"Well I'm not paying."

"Then you ain't getting no food."

"I don't fucking care. Just let me leave." I said, trying to push past him. He caught me by the arm they way _he_ used to. I jerked away and slapped him out of rage because for a second I thought it actually _was_ him.

Grease man stumbled back and stared at me with such shock and rage I feared for my life at that moment. Then he charged.

He pushed me back against the wall, my head slamming against the white concrete. I screamed out to anyone that could hear me. He threw me to the ground and my head hit again. I heard blonde beard laugh.

In that moment all I wanted was Daryl. I wanted him like a child wants their mother. I wanted him to come save me, like he always did. For him to push the rotten toothed man off of me and threaten to kill blonde beard just because he was laughing at me. I know he would have done it.

Would have.

But not anymore. He had made his choice, and a part of me probably blamed him for not saving me that day. Everything was done now. Everything was final. Everything was in black and white. There was no one looking out for me anymore. Only myself. I knew then, at that exact moment, that all I needed now was to try to survive. No one said anything about trying live.

The last thing I saw was a black-toothed smile.

I woke up in the Wal-Mart parking lot. My clothes were torn and my head was bleeding from somewhere in the back. The pain was searing and hot, half my vision was clouded by white fog. I knew what they had done, those sick bastards. But I had walked in there hadn't I? I had bit my lip, and flipped my hair. I was only flirting to get food, but I walked straight into a trap and I should have known better. I should have listened to Glenn.

I blacked out again right after I saw Glenn running to me.

I beat my head against the trunk of the tree to bring myself to reality, and because I felt so horrible every time that memory flashed through my mind. I was so stupid, so naïve. I wasn't like that anymore.

Or was I? I mean, I was chained to a damn tree. That had to tell me something. I couldn't help but think about Rick and Abi and everybody else in the group. They needed that deer. They needed to eat. And I had failed them because I wanted to be selfish and steal a couple of guns and this stupid group was laughing and cheering while they greedily gobbled down the meat from across camp. I would like to the think the bitch and her sidekick wouldn't have backed off the deer if I hadn't threatened them for their guns. I wanted to believe that this circumstance was inevitable.

But deep down, I knew I had gotten myself into this. Of course I had. I saw the people of the group say their goodnights and head off in separate directions to their tents. They were so arrogant, every last one of them. Eating _my_ food. Eating Abi's food. Ricks. Lori's. Glenn's. Maggie's. Hershel's. Beth's-

"Hey." A deep voice interrupted my thoughts. The man named Taylor was walking toward me, a plastic plate in his hands. I ignored him.

"Thought you'd want something to eat." He tried again.

"That makes sense. Since I'm the one who caught it, after all." I shot at him.

He sat down next to me and I edged myself away from him.

"Isabelle, is it?"

I was silent.

"Look, I can either feed you like a baby, or I can uncuff one of your hands so you can do it yourself." He said. "But if you're thinking about number two, then you better seriously consider the fact that I have a loaded gun."

Like that would stop me.

"I'm not hungry." I said.

He shrugged. "Alright."

I waited for him to leave, but he didn't. "Do you mind?"

"What?"

I gave him the most annoyed look I could muster, hoping he'd take a hint.

Nothing.

"I'd rather be chained to a tree alone, thanks." I said. "And guards aren't supposed to make friends with the inmates."

"I've never heard that one."

"You have now. So… leave."

He stared at me with dark brown eyes. "Are you telling me what to do? At my own camp?"

"You're not the leader."

"Says who?"

I laughed sarcastically. "You would have already killed me if the choice was in your hands."

"I wouldn't." He said.

"Your group would."

He shook his head. "I don't believe that."

"Tell that to your girlfriend."

"Who? Vennessa?" He almost made a gagging noise.

"She _that_ bad?"

He nodded. "Plus she's got something goin' on with one of our leaders. Or maybe both. You never know with her. But her and D share a tent."

"D?"

"Our leader. One of 'em, anyways."

"Oh."

He nodded. "He's a nice man. Has a lotta girlfriends, though." He laughed. "Guess I shouldn't say girlfriends if it only lasts a week. Vennessa's his longest. They've been foolin' around for a few months now."

"Ew." I said.

"I know."

My eyes then narrowed toward him. "If your so against Vennessa, why were you guys so cozy in the woods today?"

He shrugged. "We all gotta get along. Don't mean we can't secretly hate one another."

"I guess that's true."

"Yeah." He said. "You know, Isabelle, you're not so bad when you're calm. Pretty descent, actually."

"It's called a filter."

"Then what have you been keeping in?"

"Well, I've mentally killed you about three times."

He smiled. "Good to hear."

A sudden idea hit me and I knew I'd have to act fast. "You're name… it's Taylor, isn't it?"

He nodded.

"I like that name."

"Thanks. It's my dads-"

"Come here." I said, trying to sound seductive. He stopped.

"Taylor, has anybody ever told you how… absolutely irresistible you are?" I had to force the words out. He was good-looking, I had to admit, but flirting with him was like trying to eat the last piece of pie when you're already so full you can feel the food creeping back up your throat. Not like I had felt that feeling in years, but it was something like that.

I tried to inch myself closer to him but he stood up faster than I could do that.

"If you're trying to get me to unlock you, it's not happening."

I tried to act upset. "Is that all you of me? Is that all you think I want?"

"Yes."

I shrugged. "Leave then."

He didn't. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No, go." I said, dramatically.

I heard him pick up the plate and walk away. I'd get the key from him sooner or later. But now, I needed to sleep.

I woke sometime during the next day, and I could tell it was probably later in the afternoon. The sun hung around the tree tops, threatening to dip down at any moment. I must have really been exhausted.

Immediately I began to think tactfully, trying to devise a plan to lure Taylor over, flirt with him, make him steal the key from Vennassa, then run away. I would get an early start if he'd come by soon, but I didn't see him anywhere.

I sat there thinking about this until the sun rose completely over the trees. I was going to find a way out of this, like I found my way out of everything I got into.

A near by stick caught my eyes. I got my foot over it and scraped the toe of my combat boot against the dirt until the stick got close enough. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, but it was better than just sitting around waiting for Taylor. I had to at least try.

I got the stick between my feet and flung it up to my stomach. I bent my torso to try to get the stick in my mouth when a voice caught me off.

"What are you doing?" Vennessa barked. I looked up and saw her storming toward me, a man on her tail. I was assuming it was the leader.

"You better stop that, little lady." He said, getting closer. He was in his late forties, early fifties with gray hair and wife beater. But the most noticeable thing about him was the medal contraption that replaced his hand. It had a short sword at the end.

"Vennassa done told me whatchya did to get yourself tied up," he said once he moved next to me. Vennessa stood on the other side of me, arms crossed.

"That's right," she said.

The man squatted down next me. "You're pretty, little lady. And you got yourself a nice rack. Shame I'm goanna have to kill you."

I glared up at him. "You're not going to kill me."

He chuckled and then slid the blade of his hand lightly across my neck. The metal was cold and sharp.

"We can't have a thief among us." He laughed.

"Then let me go you stupid bastard!" This only made him laugh harder. The metal went further into my skin.

"I don't know what's funnier; your mouth or the fact that you think I have mercy."

"I'm not stupid," I chocked out. "I know you don't have mercy. But I do know you have a soul."

He laughed again. "Wrong."

Vennessa tapped her foot impatiently. "Get this over with before he comes back. He's goanna be here soon. He finds out we killed one of our captives he's going to kill _us._"

He shrugged. "You're right. Guess we'll just tell 'em we had 'mercy' and let 'er go."

Vennessa giggled. "He'll think I'm a hero. He'll love me even more. Maybe I'll even get lucky tonight."

The man licked his lips and I almost threw up.

"Let me go and I'll never come back. I swear to you." I said.

He looked back down to me. "So now you wanna beg for your life, little lady."

"Not mine. My groups. They need me." I would be ready to die at the moment if it weren't for Abi.

"You shoulda thought about that before you tried to steal from my people."

He swung his blade up, ready to thrash it down against my neck. I closed my eyes only to be greeted by Abi's. She was running through Hershel's field, with Carl in tow. Her auburn braids bounced up and down and gleamed brightly in the sun. Then I saw her again, thin and pale, huddled up in the corner of the abandoned, moldy house were taking shelter in today. She looked around, waiting for me to get home. Crying when I didn't.

"Well, looks like you let them down." The man said, then laughed. My eyes shot open and before I time could pass another second I kicked him hard in the gut, then again between his legs. He yelped and fell back. Anticipating the next move, I swung my leg to the right, knocking Vennessa off her feet. She grunted and before she could move I swept her gun away with my feet. When I turned my head again, the man's knife was in my face.

"You…" he grunted in pain. "Deserve this."

His blade went up and I looked him straight in the eye, not giving him the satisfaction of killing me while I was afraid. I wanted him to know I died fighting.

I wanted Abi to know that I died fighting. I wanted her to do the same.

_Never give up, Abilene. Fight until you die. _I thought, praying that she could hear me in some way. The man grunted then sent his sword flying down. This was it. This was the end.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" A mans voice growled from behind. The sword stopped right above my throat and I let out a cry.

The man clenched his eyes closed and pulled his sword away.

"This bitch deserves this. She tried to steal Venneassa and Chris' guns out in the woods then came here and disrespected _everyone._ And she just jumped us."

The man behind him with a baseball cap and a poncho flung him away.

"Is this true? Did-" He stopped suddenly.

My heart quit beating. Oh my God. I had the sudden and overwhelming urge to throw up. Oh my god.

_Oh my God._

The man under the hat stared at me, his mouth slightly hanging open. I didn't need to study his features, like I did with everybody else, because I already knew them like the back of me hand. I had touched every curve, every line. I had felt the rough stubble that still dotted his face and ran my hands through his jagged hair, and stared into his pale eyes until I felt like the universe only revolved around him and I at that exact moment. I'd done it all. I knew it all.

Because the man under the hat was Daryl Dixon.


	2. Chapter Two- Demons

Demons

"Oh my God." Daryl said. He stood there, staring at me. I just sat there, staring back at him. This couldn't be real. Not here, not now. He couldn't be here right in front of me. He couldn't have been this close the whole time. There was no way. No way in hell.

He didn't look the same. His hair was darker and shaggier and his stubble was thicker. His eyes looked dark but open. Most of all, he looked like he had grown up. Nothing substantial about his face had changed, but he aged in the way that a boy does the summer between middle school and high school. All of a sudden they come back to school and they're a whole new person. They still look nearly the same but you can tell that they're older. He was still unintentionally eye catching, and I hated every inch of his beautiful face.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. He began stepping closer, and for a fraction of a second I wanted nothing more than to be free of these chains and run into his arms like I had eight months ago.

But that was eight months ago.

He had left me. He had left all of us. He was living comfortably in this place, with all these people and tents and trucks and smiles and food, while we were dying on the road. He'd opted out. He'd abandoned us. He'd destroyed me.

He'd created a monster.

"Don't get any closer." I yelled at him. He stepped back, a little shocked.

"Arken. It's me. I can't believe you- you're here."

"Who the hell is Arken?" Vennassa asked. "This is Isabelle. Otherwise known as psycho dog shit girl."

"Let me go. Now." I spat at him. He stared at me again for a moment before putting his hand out to Vennassa for the key, without taking his eyes from mine. After making an annoyed grunt she dug it out of her back pocket.

"Daryl, this chick is crazy. I think she broke my wrist," she said.

He ignored her and moved behind me to unlock the handcuffs.

"Say you're not going to run away when I unlock it, Arken." He said into my ear. I jerked away from him.

"Say it." He commanded.

"Okay." I lied.

He didn't move.

"I _swear_ I won't run." I said sarcastically.

He started to stand. "Stay chained to the tree all night. Your call."

"Fine." I said. "I won't run. I mean it."

He moved back reluctantly. He unlocked the cuffs and pulled me to my feet. I waited for half a second before I sent an elbow into his stomach and took off. I was tackled to the ground in a matter of seconds.

"Nice try," he said, tying my hands up.

"Just let me go," I said into the dirt.

"Not until you talk to me."

Instantly I shut up. I wasn't going to do _anything _he wanted. He pulled me to my feet again and dragged me along toward the center of camp. People glared at me as we passed. Vennessa and sword hand followed on either side.

"How do you know her, D?" Vennessa asked.

He looked to me then to her. "She was part of my old group."

"Oh." She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"How are they, Arken?" He asked me. "Rick and Carl…and everybody. And Abi."

"You were still with that son of a bitch that cuffed me to the roof?" Swordy asked.

Daryl ignored him and stared at me.

I didn't say anything.

"Say something." He said.

Silence.

He sat me down on a log that surrounded a burnt down campfire. The two people that sat on the opposite log gave one look to me then rushed away. Sword hand and Vennassa sat on the log next to me.

"Tell me."

I sucked my lips in.

"Dammit, Arken."

"I told you. She's an obnoxious bitch." Vennassa piped up.

I gave her a sympathetic look. "I bet you had issues, didn't you? What was it? Did daddy never love you? Were you suicidal? Did you not get the right car when you turned 16?"

She tried charging at me but swordy held her back.

Daryl's eyes cut into mine. "How are they?"

I laughed sarcastically. "Oh, we're just great. Just _awesome_. Lori's knocked up, probably with Shane's kid, Ricks delusional, Abi's sick and they let _me _go out hunting. Everything's _just. Fucking. Dandy_, thanks for asking._"_

He was silenced.

"And what do you care anyways? You left, remember? We didn't need you, remember? We would survive on our own_, remember_?"

"I don't know what to say," he said, flatly.

"How about nothing," I suggested.

Vennessa moved to his side, snaking her arm through his. I laughed.

"I'm glad you found your old friend, D." She said.

My laughter continued. "Yeah, it's not like you were going to kill me or anything. Nope, I survived, which makes _you_ a hero. Do you think she's a hero, Daryl? Because hopefully she'll "_get lucky" _tonight if you think so."

She gaped at me, then took her arm from his, walked over to me, and slapped me across the face. I wasn't shocked, in fact, I was still smiling, despite the stinging pain.

"Do it again." I challenged. "I _dare_ you."

She was about to pounce when Daryl caught her by the waist. I jumped up, lunging head first at her gut, but not before swordy caught me with one hand.

"Calm down, little lady," he said, pressing me closer to him. I was about to kick him in the place he deserved it most, but Daryl forced us apart.

"Take Vennessa to my tent to calm down, Merle." He said, and suddenly it made sense. Swordy was Daryl's long lost brother that chopped his own had off. I probably should have already guessed that.

Merle took Vennessa by the waist lead her away. She was still snarling.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded. "The way you're actin'… and you cut your hair? This isn't you, Arken."

I was completely silent. I didn't want to say anything to him. I didn't want to even look at him. Half of it was because the sight of his face made me want to kill somebody, but also because the sight of it would always do to me what it used to.

"I'm sorry you all aint doin so good," he tried again.

I gave him the hardest, coldest glare I could. I didn't care if I hurt him. He doesn't have feelings anyways. He would never have done the things he did. At least in the way he did them.

I spat on the ground for effect. "Can I go now?"

He stared at me, examining every inch. "No."

"You can't keep me here." I warned.

"Watch me." He said, grabbing my arm roughly and pulling me in a random direction.

I didn't let him hold on to me. I fought away from his grasp and hit at his arm.

"What are you doing? Where are you taking me?"

"If you want to act like a hard ass, I'm gonna treat you like one. This is my group, and I can't risk having such an unstable person around them."

"You don't control me anymore, Daryl." I said, furiously. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore. _Let. Me. Go._"

He stopped and stared at me. Then he pulled out a pocketknife. I flinched away without realizing it, but then he reached behind my back and slit the rope that bound my hands together and stepped back.

"Go then."

He didn't need to tell me twice. I took off, but not before I heard him yell behind me. "You won't make it a mile before it gets pitch black. You don't have a gun and those woods aren't a safe place at night."

I didn't look back.


	3. Chapter Three- Lost

Lost

Darkness had engulfed me. I was drowning it.

I stumbled blindly around the woods, arms outstretched, jumping at everything. How could this have happened? I'd only left Daryl's maybe twenty minutes ago. I wasn't even halfway back to my group when the woods were invaded by the inky blackness. I could be in Switzerland and would never know it. I was probably just going in circles.

I grabbed trees and branches and whatever I could to guide my way through the forest that I couldn't see, praying I was somewhere close to the edge of the woods. Hopefully I would hit the highway soon, and from there I would wait until sunrise to navigate back to the house we were in. How I longed to feel pavement under my feet.

I should turn back. But running back to Daryl's camp was the last thing I'd ever do. He would never see me again, and I wanted it that way. He'd made his choice eight months ago, and now it was time to follow through. He had a new family, a new group, and probably a new girlfriend. I would never go back.

My breath quickened in panic when I realized someone could be standing a foot in front of me and I would never be able to tell. It was like I'd fallen into a pit of hell. It was terrifying.

"Hello?" I called out, then actually laughed a little. I sounded like a girl in a horror movie. "Is anyone there?"

I felt the toe of my boot catch on something and I toppled to the ground. I screamed out, unable to help it. I couldn't see anything and my hands frantically and shakily searched the ground. That's when I heard it.

That horrible, dreadful, cracking moan. _Oh dear God. Help me._

I lay completely still. I couldn't take the risk of it hearing me, though it probably already had. I screamed pretty loud. I only heard one moan, so I doubted there was a herd. I would have surely died if that had been the case.

I heard it's feet dragging closer and my whole body tensed on the ground. If the moon was out tonight I'd get rid of it no problem, probably with my bare hands, but that wasn't the case. I couldn't see three inches in front of my face.

"Isabelle!" I head someone call from somewhere far off. It sounded like Taylor. Oh crap.

I wanted to yell back, but _it_ would hear me, and probably find me. But if I laid here on the ground, what good would that do? It would probably eventually trip on me sooner of later and then attack me. It new a meal was somewhere close and it wouldn't leave until it found it.

Found me.

I tried pulling myself of the ground quietly, but leaves cracked under me. The snarls escalated. I decided the quicker the better and I jumped to my feet as fast as I could and screamed for Taylor. I saw a light far off, probably a lantern. I snarl sounded in my ear and I felt something touch my shoulder and I took off toward the light as hard and fast as I could. I tripped and fell over nearly everything, but dragged myself forward anyways, picturing the nasty, rotted corpse right behind me. I didn't realize I was screaming until I flung myself at the light, landing in Taylor's arms, and he caught me, dropping the lantern. It was a moment before I realized I was screaming out for Daryl. When I processed how close we were, I jumped away only to be greeted by another light in my eyes. I squinted away, but I could tell it was the last person I wanted to see.

"Told ya you wouldn't get far." Daryl said.

"I got far enough." I shot back, wiping my eyes.

He laughed. "Took us a three minute walk to find you."

Out of habit, I put my hand through my hair, embarrassed. I only made it three minutes away. I had been going in circles. I was a joke.

"Just give me one of your lanterns and let me be on my way." I said.

"No." Daryl said.

I glared into the light. "I'm not going back. Not with you there."

He sighed. "Cut the bullshit. I'm not sendin my group out searchin for you again."

"I wont need them if I have a light."

"Do you even know what way your group is?"

Instantly I pointed in a random direction, trying to prove that I did. Daryl exchanged a glance with Taylor.

"Weird. That's the way to our camp."

I bit down on my lip and looked away. "I meant the other way." I tried.

"Nice try, Arken," he said. "Come on." He motioned for me to follow him and of course I didn't move. I only did when Taylor told me to come along.

It was a short walk until I saw the lights of camp through the trees. I was literally that close to their camp the whole time. It was almost mortifying.

"What did you find out about that town when you were gone?" Taylor asked Daryl. He grunted and rubbed his temples.

"He wants us to join the little town he's got goin' on. Calls it Woodbury. I already told the group. They're all for it." You could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Then what's the problem?" He asked.

Daryl was quiet for a moment. "I don't trust the guy. The leader, they call 'em the Governor. Somethin' seems…off about him. I don't want my people around that."

"D, are you insane? A town. With people and food. Merle said they got heavy barricades with guards. It sounds unbelievable."

"We're not goin'."

Taylor gave a frustrated sigh. "You think the rest of the groups goanna listen to that call?"

Daryl didn't say anything. Taylor knew the answer.

"Where are you goanna go if you ain't goin' to Woodbury?"

He shrugged. "I'll figure somethin' out. I wanna talk to my people first. Maybe they don't all want to go.

"You know that's not true, D." Taylor said. "Just come with us. Give it a try."

"I ain't goin'. And I'm goanna try my damn hardest to convince everyone else of that."

"You got until sunrise. That's when they're all planning on heading out."

He rubbed his temples. "I know. I know."

"I'm tellin' you… it's better we all go. They all love you like a father, a brother. They'll want you to be with them. Merle won't be so happy either."

"I can't do that." He said.

"Where is this place?" I asked. Maybe Rick and them would want to go there. It sounded nice. Maybe Abi could get better there. Maybe Lori could have the baby safely. And Maggie and Glenn could start a family.

Maybe then I could heal.

"Just north of Kingston." Taylor answered.

"That's not to far from where we're staying…" I said under my breath.

"No." Daryl cut in sharply. "You're not taking them there."

I gave him an evil look. "You'll never get to make that decision."

He glared down, his features dark in the low lantern light.

"I won't let you do that," he threatened.

"You'll have to kill me before you _ever_ tell me what to do again." I shot back.

Suddenly Taylor moved in between us, forcing me back. I hadn't realized how close I had gotten to him, my body language looking like somebody who was about to throw the first punch. If only Daryl hadn't been twice my size, I probably would have.

"Do you guys… have something going on?" Taylor asked.

I answered for both of us. "No."

Daryl didn't object.

"Okay then…" Taylor said, awkwardly.

We were back at camp by that time and Daryl disappeared to go talk to the rest of his group. He rattled tents and told them to go out to the campfire for a meeting.

Taylor had me by the arm. "I don't want to put you on the tie tree again, Isabelle."

"Then don't."

He laughed. "You can sleep in my tent. As long as you don't plan on murdering me in my sleep."

I put my hands up. "No plans here."

"Good, good. It's the blue one by that tree. I won't be sleepin' in it anyway. I'll be talking' to D and the group for most of the night, I suppose," he said with a smile, and suddenly I felt a pang of guilt. Despite being mean and hateful and trying to seduce him for a key, he was still standing there smiling and letting me sleep in his tent.

I gave him a quick, unsmiling thank you and hurried off to his tent. He showed up nearly a minute after.  
"Do me a favor, Isabelle. Stay in here while D's talking to the group. I don't think he wants any trouble."

"I don't care what he wants," I blurted before I could stop myself. Taylor was silent and then nodded once and left.

It was obvious there had been something between Daryl and I. And it was obvious that it had ended badly. It didn't matter though because I was leaving at sunrise and never coming back. I would die happy if I never had to look at Daryl ever again. I swear I would.

Not being able to resist temptation or follow directions, I slipped out of Taylors tent only seconds after he left and follow silently behind him down to the campfire. The fire was lit in the pit and around forty people gathered around, waiting for Daryl to say something. I stopped behind a tree, close enough to see and hear everything but far enough away no one would suspect me. Taylor and a couple were the last to walk into the crowd and when they did, Daryl nodded.

"Now that we're all here, I've been meaning to talk to you all about something," he said, and he sounded like he was trying to pronunciation more and not use so much hick slang. Like he actually cared what they thought of him.

Maybe I wasn't the only one who had changed.

"I know you all are excited about going to this Woodbury place, but as_ your_ leader, I'm telling you I have a bad feeling about theirs. There was an incident between Merle and-"

A group member cut him off. "So what are you saying? You don't want us to go?"

Daryl nodded. "I don't know how else to put it."

Murmurs filled the crowd and I heard a few people laugh. "You can't be serious," someone said. "This is the greatest opportunity that has come along to any of us."

He rubbed his temples. "I have a bad feeling about him and his people-"

"You mean you have a hunch?" Another person asked. "We can't pass this up over _that._"

I saw Vennessa move to Daryl's side and put an arm around his waist. He didn't flinch back like he used to when I did it. Rage burned inside me.

"Daryl has gotten us this far. Half of us were almost dead until he came along. We need to trust him on this," she said.

Daryl whispered something to her and I jumped out, not being able to help it.

"I've been to Woodbury. There is nothing wrong with it. Or their leader. You guys should go. It's a safe place."

Everyone looked back at me and then began to talk amongst one another. I smiled as they began to nod and agree.

Daryl said something to Vennessa and then locked eyes with me. He pushed his way through the crowd and made it to me in a matter of seconds.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" He snapped, but didn't stop charging until my back was against a tree far away from the crowd

"I forgot you were so hot headed, Daryl. You have a good way of hiding it from these people."

His glare was dangerous, but I still smiled smugly at him.

"Why would you say that? I know you've never been there," he said, his face inches from mine. I wanted to slap him and hit him and tell him to never talk to me again. But making him angry was just as satisfying.

"How do_ you_ know?"

"Stop the bullshit. Now."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really think I'm _ever_ going to listen to you again? I made that mistake once."

"You will when my group is at stake."

"And how do you know this place is _so_ bad? You always make the right call, remember? You're the mature one."

"I have a feeling."

"Then don't go. But let them make their own decision. You have no right to choose for them."

"I care about them. I'm goanna do what I have to do to protect them."

I glanced from the group to him. "Obviously they don't want it. They've made their decision."

He moved back from me a little. "Thanks to you."

"Don't blame me. I wasn't their decision maker. Just…the catalyst." I said, suppressing a little laughter.

Daryl didn't find it funny. "You find this _cute_? You think putting my group in danger is funny?"

"No." But revenge is.

"You're selfish and childish."

His words tried to hit me in a place I'd spent the last eight months building walls around. I wasn't affected in the least.

"No, that's not it. I finally have the guts to say what I want."

"Say it then." He challenged.

I smiled like the witch did in snow white after she bit the poison apple. "Go. To. Hell."

His eyes squinted into mine and then he turned away from me and started walking back to camp. "See you there."


	4. Chapter Four- Reunion

Reunion

The rest of the group didn't agree with Daryl. They were gone by the time I woke in Taylors tent.

Stepping out, I was greeted by an abandoned clearing.

"Hello?" I asked around to the empty camp. Used cans and black fire pits dotted the ground. Taylors tent was the only one still here.

"Is anyone there?" yelled. No answer.

The group had convinced Daryl to go with them. I'd never see him again.

Good riddance.

I looked around once more before ducking back into the tent and pulled my boots on. I whistled as I pulled the top half of my hair into a pony tail and made my way back outside. Taylor was standing outside when I did.

I jumped back out of surprise.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you left."

Taylor gave me quick smile. "Mornin' to you, too."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Daryl's not going. I wasn't going to go without him," he answered.

I looked behind him to see Daryl and Vennessa embracing further back. My stomach lurched. I watched them pull back and she put a hand on his chest just as they both looked to me. I looked back to Taylor before I could meet either of their eyes.

"Well…cool. Now I've got to get on my way." I said. "It's been nice knowing you."

Taylor didn't say anything and I gave him an awkward smile and moved past him.

"I think maybe you should talk to Daryl," he said.

I kept walking. "Pass."

I got only a few steps before I hear footsteps coming after me and a hand grabbed my arm before I could make it any further. I knew who it was.

"Leave me alone, Daryl." I said. "Let me go."

He turned me so I faced him. It took all I had not to hit him.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"No." I spat. "And don't grab me like that anymore."

He sighed and dropped his hand. "Arken, I know what happened back at the farm… and after, and I want us to forget it. I want us to move on."

I stared at him. ''Okay. Sure. Now if your soul is_ right_ for making amends with me, can I go?"

"No," he paused. "I need to ask you something."

"Shoot," I said. "But make it fast."

His look was hesitant. "We want to go with you. Vennessa, Taylor and me. And before you blow up, just hear me out-"

"What? Are you kidding?" I choked out, followed by laughter. "You can't be serious."

His face was like stone. I was glad. He was embarrassed after all he'd done to me, after he'd _left_ us he had to ask me for something. His pride was being shaken but I didn't have any remorse. After he left, mine didn't even exist. The people who told me he'd leave in a heartbeat made me swallow it whole. They were right about everything. And there wasn't a chance in hell I'd ever let him do that to us again.

"We want to join your group." He said.

"No." I said quickly. "I'm not going to let you go back there."

"Arken, please-"

"You don't deserve them. You left us for these people." I said, looking over to Taylor and Vennessa, who were both staring.

"I understand you look at it that way, but the rest of the group knew I had to do it."

"Half of them didn't even know you were leaving. You lied."

"I didn't say they _all_ knew. And I know what happened that night was… sudden for you, considering all that happened-"

"Sudden?" I asked, incredulously. "It was like…" I couldn't finish my sentence. It was like my worst nightmare come true. My biggest fear. My only regret.

It was like everything I had was torn away. But I would never let him know that.

"I'm sorry, Arken. I really am."

I rolled my eyes. "Good. But I will never let you see them again. I'm never going to let you do that to us again."

"I'm not going to. If I go, I'm goin' to stay."

"Well you're not. So don't worry about it."

I pushed past him, my shoulder hitting his hard. He tried to grab my arm again but I moved away before he could.

"Don't be selfish," called after me. "I know you're only thinking of yourself, but think of your group. The one you love." I stopped, but he didn't. "Think about how much they'll need three more people. All hunters. If you really care about them you'll think about them. Not yourself."

I whipped around and faced the man that I once loved. The one that I couldn't get enough of. Now I could hardly stand the sight of his face.

"I hate you. And I'm not lying this time, Daryl. I _hate_ you and I mean it."

"You don't have to like me. But you know what needs to happen here."

"You're not sorry at all for what happened. You're just afraid I'll be so pissed at you for what happened I wont let you come back."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry for how I handled it, yes, but-"

"How you _handled_ it? You didn't handle it at all. You just ran."

He was silent.

"But that's okay. Because it's not going to happen again. Any of it."

We both knew what I meant. It meant I would never let him in again. I would never let him mess with me like he had. But we both also knew he was right. If they came back with us things would probably get better. As much as him coming back pissed me off, it would be the most selfish move of my existence to not allow him to. I couldn't do that with Abi's face in my mind.

"Do not talk to me. Ever. You stay with the rest of the men and your _girlfriend_ and who ever you want, just stay away from _me,_" I said. Daryl began to look relieved at my acceptance.

"I don't want you near my sister either. She had to go through you leaving, too. I don't want you around her. And I swear if you leave and do that to them ever again…"

"Thank you." He said, almost smiling for the first time since I'd seen him. "And I won't."

"Don't tell me. Show me," I said. "You should know by now that your words don't mean shit."

He looked like he was about to say something but held back.

"Thank you, Isabelle," Taylor said, approaching us. Daryl gave him a weird look, but before he could say anything Vennessa had a toned arm around his shoulders.

"I'm happy for you, D," she said, smiling.

I rolled my eyes and started walking.

"You're going the wrong way," Taylor called after me. "We found you in the woods that way."

I turned around to see him pointing the opposite way that I was walking. I followed his direction but he stopped me with a hand.

"Why don't I lead?"

I cleared my throat. "Sure. Why not."

He laughed and then nodded for me to follow him. Daryl and Vennessa walked behind us.

"How many people do you have in your group?" He asked me as we walked through the trees.

"Eight. It's not a big group, but it's a nice one."

He smiled. "Good. I like nice people."

"Cool," I said, uninterested.

"That's why I'm so surprised I like you," he said, nudging me with his elbow.

I stared at him for a moment, not knowing how to react, but his smile was so persuasive I couldn't help but smile back. I hit him hard in the ribs with my elbow, angry he'd made me smile.

"You have anger issues," he said, laughing and rubbing his side.

I shrugged. "Don't we all?"

"I don't."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you proved that when you fuckin' pounced on me in the woods."

He laughed. "That wasn't out of anger. I was just makin' sure you didn't do anything stupid."

"Like shoot you?"

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Like shoot me."

"It happens." I teased.

"You wouldn't have done it," he said.

I looked up at him, trying to be intimidating. "You don't me well then."

His smile grew. "I know your kind. All talk but no walk."

I narrowed my eyes. "Would you like a demonstration?"

He spread his arms open wide. "Take your best shot."

I smiled and was about throw a punch in his gut when a voice broke it up.

"Stop waistin' time. We ain't got all day." Daryl said. We both turned to look at him. As my eyes started to scowl I saw Vennessa move closer to Daryl. What was this bitch's problem?

"Tell your friend to stop being such an ass then," I said, smiling through a scowl.

"And tell your old friend to stop being so…. cute." Taylor said. My eyes shot open wide.

Daryl's expression didn't change but I watched his eyes flicker to mine for half a second.

"That won't be a problem," Vennessa sneered. I turned back around and kept walking.

Taylor was silent for a few moments. "Was that weird?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"Sorry," he said, his face turning red.  
"Don't be," I said. "It's cool."

He sighed. "Good. But you know I wasn't lying."

"How could you be? I mean, I _am_ adorable."

He laughed, but both of us knew it wasn't true. I was a mess. And not even a hot one.

We made small talk as we walked through the woods until finally we reached pavement after nearly an hour under the sun.

"The house is just up this road," I said, turning left on the small road. The rest of them followed behind me.

Sudden fear that they had left crossed my mind. What if they had thought "Oh good, we got rid of the train-wreck. Now we can actually get some stuff done," and packed up and left. I laughed to myself at the thought, knowing that they would send a month long search party out for me before leaving. Plus, Abi wouldn't move if I wasn't by her side.

We walked along until we got to the cluster of houses, and I spotted the log-cabinish one we had been currently residing in. I saw the mint colored car we'd taken along with Hershel's truck and my blue one parked next to it. I broke into a run before I knew it, heading straight for the door. I left the three outsiders behind and flew up the front steps and threw open the door. I was met by the faces of my family.

Rick and Lori were sitting on the sunken in couch, talking to Carl. Hershel and Beth were seated at the table and Maggie and Glenn across from them. Carol and Abi sat cross-legged across from each other, a checkers board in between them.

Abi tried standing up when she saw me but wobbled back to the floor. I ran over to her and scooped her up, hugging her until I was sure she would break.

"Bellie you were gone so long! I missed you," she said into my middle.

I squeezed her harder. "I know, Abilene. I missed you so much."

She looked up at me, hollow bags beneath her bring hazel eyes. "Then why didn't you come back?"

I smiled. "It's a long story."

"Arken!" Rick exclaimed, standing up. "Where have you been? Are you alright?"

Soon everyone was fleeted around me with the same questions.

"Yes, I'm alright. I missed you guys so much. But there's something I need to tell you. Someone's here-"

Someone rapped on the open door behind us.

"Knock, knock." Daryl Dixon said.

Everyone stared at him, stunned. Abi released her arms from around my waist and ran up to him with the speed of light.

"Mr. Daryl!" She said. It hit me hard when she greeted him so warmly. He didn't deserve it.

"Hey, kiddo," he said, and then met eyes with everyone else. They stared back at him, astounded. They didn't think he'd ever come back, just like I thought I'd never have to see him again.

He nodded at every staring face. "You guys got any extra room?"


	5. Chapter Five- Running up that Hill

Running up that Hill

"Well if it isn't Daryl Dixon! Come on in. Take a seat." Carol said smiling, gesturing to the extra rocking chair. Daryl shook his head just as Taylor and Vennessa stepped in. Vennessa smiled the biggest, fakest smile I'm sure she could muster.

"Hello," she said to everyone.

Everyone gave her a questioning nod.

"Wait. What's going on?" T-dog asked, stepping out of a back room. He smiled when he saw me. "Good to have you back, Arken. I thought I smelled trouble."

I grinned at him as Daryl cleared his throat. "Arken here got picked up by my people in the woods. We had a group of maybe 30 but they uh… joined with another group."

I wasn't going to mention that he'd left out the part about me being held captive and almost being murdered, but I felt we were even for him leaving out the part about me threatening to kill his people for guns. That's the only thing I'd call equal between us.

"Arken told me about your…situation. And I know I left in a hurry last year, but I was hopin' you'd have some extra room for us."

Rick stepped up, taking Daryl's hand then pulling him into a hug. "Surprised you even had to ask."

Daryl smiled back at him when they released and Rick shook Taylor and Vennessa's hands.

"And who are you guys?"

Vennessa set her shoulders back and put up her chin. "I'm Vennessa. But you all can call me Nessy. I'm Daryl's girlfriend."

I chocked on air when she said it. _Girlfriend._

I shouldn't have been as mad as I was, but for some reason I couldn't help it. Daryl had never classified me as his girlfriend when we were together, but he didn't object when Vennessa said it. Whatever. I would never want him to call me his girlfriend anyways. I saw Lori look at me from the corner of my eye.

"Nice to meet you, Nessy." Rick said, and I laughed a little.

Her eyes directed to me. "_What_?" She sneered.

"You do know that's what they call the Loch Ness Monster," I said, laughing again. "Quite fitting, actually."

I heard Glenn and T-dog laugh, but everyone else either gave me a warning look or a blank stare. I bit my lip to hold in the rest of my laughter and held my hands up in defeat.

"That's funny," Vennessa shot back sarcastically.

I shrugged and walked forward, taking Abi's hand and directing her away from _him._

She went with me hesitantly, looking back at Daryl.

"Why is he here?" Abi asked me. "Did he come back for you?"

I could feel the air being sucked from my lungs. I really wish she wouldn't say things like that.

I'm guessing Lori noticed because she grabbed my free arm and walked me into kitchen. "Why don't we get you something to eat?"

I shook my head, despite the sudden pang in my stomach. We didn't have a lot of food to spare.

"No, no. That's okay Lori."

"You look sick. Do you need sleep?"

I shook my head. "Maybe you should start worrying about yourself. You're the pregnant one, remember?"

She nodded. "Okay, if you say you're fine." She looked back at Daryl and my eyes darted away from hers.

"Okay." She patted me once on the back and went back to the living room. I sat Abi down in a chair, then moved to the window and opened the curtains. The room was dark and stuffy without any electricity, but we were all used to that.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, crossing back to the table.

"Better," she said. "Bellie, who are those people out there?"

I glanced through the entryway at Taylor and Vennessa then back to Abi. Her hair was down and natty, and her shirt was so dirty you could hardly make out the horse in the center of it.

"They're… Mr. Daryl's friends." I said. "But hey, lets not talk about them. How about we go get you cleaned up."

"There's at least a bucket left of boiled water in the bathroom." Carol said, entering the kitchen and grabbing a pillow from one of the chairs. "We're gonna head out tomorrow so best and get cleaned up today." She smiled and left.

I took Abi's hand. "C'mon."

We went into the bathroom, which had a molded ceiling and a bathtub covered in crime. I moved to open the curtains and window, letting both light and fresh air into the stingy room. I sat her down on the closed toilet and dipped the rag draped over the edge of the bucket into the water.

"Grab that soap," I told her, pointing to the bar on the side of the sink that we'd all been using. She did and handed to me. I ground it into the wet rag and then wiped it over her face and arms.

"What happened while you were gone?" She asked me.

I shrugged, nonchalantly. "Nothing really, I just ran into Daryl and his group. Did anything happen here?"

She shook her head. "Mr. Grimes was getting mad about you being gone and he was going to go out to look for you today if you weren't back."

I tried to smile. "Well, I'm back. That's all that matters."

"I was sad while you were gone. But Carol told me I couldn't cry."

I dipped the rag once more in the bucket and started scrubbing again. "Carol was right. No more crying, remember?"

"But you cry, Bellie. I hear you sometimes."

I looked down at the water. "I was sad a long time ago, Abilene. I'm okay now."

"Is it because of Mr. Daryl?"

"No. Let's not talk about him. Now hand me that cup."

She did as she was told and gave me the red plastic cup on the counter. I leaned her head over the sink and scooped the water over her hair, scrubbing. I brushed it out when it was all done.

"Feel better?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah, Bellie."

I smiled. "Good. Now go kick Carol's butt again in checkers."

She giggled and ran out of the bathroom. I was left standing alone with a half empty bucket of good water. I suppose I could clean up a little. I took my shirt off and dipped it in the water, rubbed soap over it and hung it to dry over the shower curtain. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror right before I was about to wash my face.

My hair was short and stringy from the outdoors, and my skin was pale and washed out. Dark bags hung under my eyes, and small cuts dotted and lined my cheeks. The small, crusted purple cut on my neck was nearly invisible now, but I could still almost feel the metal in my skin. I sighed and threw my whole head in the bucket and came up gasping for air, brushing and scrubbing at my hair. I looked in the mirror once I was done and I felt like a new person, but still a hollow one.

Everyone stared as I re-entered the living room.

"What?" I asked around.

T-Dog cleared his throat. "You should probably put a shirt on."

I looked down at my black and red bra. "Oh yeah." I said casually, then stalked through the living room. Taylor's eyes locked with mine as I moved to the door.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer," I teased with a smile. But a sudden memory punched at my chest. It was when I had woken up next to Daryl at the farm for the first time.

_He was still here. He didn't leave in the middle of the night, which I expected far too much. He was still in the same spot as he was last night, give or take a few inches. _

_ "Take a picture. Last ya longer." He said hoarsely without opening his eyes._

My mind snapped back to reality and I pulled the door open without waiting for his response. I grabbed a fresher outfit and threw it on. The black skinny jeans hugged my legs and I would never have worn them a year ago, but Beth brought some extra clothes when she threw her bag together right before we left the farm. I found Dean's gray army shirt and put it one and I also threw my light blue royals hat over my wet hair. I slid by brown combat boots on and walked back to the house.

I was met by everybody but Daryl's eyes.

"Don't worry, guys," I assured them. "I'm dressed."


	6. Chapter Six- Bad Blood

Bad Blood

I woke up well past noon the next day. It was bright and muggy in the little back room I was sleeping in, and I saw that Abi had already went out, of course. I groggily drug my body out to the living room, where I was met by Vennessa. Great.

"Where is everybody?" I asked her.

"Rick and D left for a run," she says, picking at her nails. "Went back to our old camp with a truck to pick up D's motorcycle and look for supplies and whatever. The rest are outside doin' stuff. Except for the chick with the gray hair. She took the little red head into the bathroom or something."

I shot her a "thanks" and moved for the door. I was waiting for her to say something insulting, something rude, but it didn't come. I looked back only when I heard her laugh.

"What?"

She shook her head. "Oh nothing."

I narrowed my eyes. "Doesn't sound like it."

She shrugged. "I was just thinking about last night. Me and Daryl slept in that back bedroom together, and I'll just tell you it was a fun night."

I forced my lips into a tight smile, blocking out the aching feeling I knew would rise to my chest at any moment.

"Let's hope he didn't catch anything."

She rolled her eyes. "Can you _not_ act like a teenager with those ridiculous comebacks? Let's act like adults here."

"I will when you do. On the count of three. One… two…"

She cut me off with a scoffing noise. "What is your problem with me anyways?"

"Oh you know, the fact that you almost killed me." And you're a psychotic bitch.

She moved closer to me, her tan skin seeming to glow from the light streaming in through the window. Her light brown hair was braided back, defining her slim, oval face and high cheekbones. She reminded me in that moment of a quote I'd once heard: beauty is curse on the world. It keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are.

"Is it because you're… _jealous_?" She asked.

"What do you have that I would ever want?" I asked. "That's right. Nothing."

She examined her hands nonchalantly. "Well, there _is_ Daryl."

My eyes turned to slits. "I don't want your stupid boyfriend."

"Why not? You wanted him before."

Rage burned inside me. "How do you know that?"

"People talk. They also said you went on sort of an 'emotional rampage' after he dumped your ass. Daryl found that part quite amusing, actually."

I wanted to hit her across that stupid, skinny face. I hated her. I hated her as much as I hated Daryl. I wanted to think she was lying, to think she was full of shit, but the fiery anger that coursed through my veins told me that I believed her.

"They also said you were so 'hurt' you hooked up with a bunch of nasty old men at-"

"Stop," I warned her. "Shut your mouth or I_ swear_ I will kill you."

She laughed. "You really are jealous aren't you? How cute."

I turned away from her before I got violent and threw open the door.

"I will never be jealous of you. And I will never want him," I said. "Ever again." I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me.

I ran smack into Taylor as he was coming up the steps.

"Whoa, what's wrong?" He asked, touching my arm. I jerked away from him and kept walking.

"Isabelle?" He called after me.

"Leave me alone."

"What's the matter?"

I whipped around. "Don't talk to me. Okay?"

He stared blankly at me and I turned around before he could say anymore. I stomped my way over to where T-Dog and Glenn were working on the car. T-dog's head was under the hood and Glenn was leaning against the passenger's door, saying something. I leaned up against it next to him.

"You look pissed." He said.

"That's because I am. Where's Lori?"

He pointed toward the back of the house. "Doin something with all the girls I think. Laundry or something."

I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't think now would have been a good time taking my emotional state into consideration.

"You havin' some problems with Daryl's girl?"

"Don't call her that." I said quickly, without realizing it. I wanted to slap myself in the face.

Glenn nodded. "Ah I see. Got a little bit of the green monster, do ya?"

I glared at the ground. "No. I hate him."

He shrugged. "Hate and love are the same emotion sometimes."

"Well not this time," I shot back. "And we can't all have perfect relationships like you and Maggie."

He smiled. "It's not _perfect._ But it's pretty close, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're making me feel _so_ much better."

"That's what you get when you try to get relationship advice from Glenn," T-Dog said from under the hood.

"There is not relationship I need advice on, thanks. Daryl and I are not together and we never will be."

Maybe we never were in the first place.

"So you over it?" Glenn asked.

"Completely."

He leaned in closer. "Well, I can help you get him back, if you want..."

"No." I scowled. "I don't want him back. Vennessa can have him."

He laughed. "Hey, I think Nessy's alright."

T-Dog stuck his head out. "You serious?"

He shrugged and T-Dog laughed. "Man, did you even hear her last night?"

"What did she say last night?" I asked.

T-Dog put the blue rag he was holding down and stepped out from the hood.

"After you went to bed she was tellin' everyone about how your 'crazy ass' jumped them in the woods. She also said you had a knife to her throat."

"That is _not _true!" I said, defensively. "That crazy one handed redneck had one to mine."

"Yeah, we didn't believe her either. Daryl told us what really happened. Don't worry."

I looked at them skeptically. "And what did _he_ say happened?"

"That he saved your ass. His brother tried to kill you."

"And his bitch," I added.

Glenn stretched his arms. "Guess he forgot that part."

"Yeah. _Forgot_."

"Think they're just together for sex?" Glenn asked, and I heard T-Dog laugh as he stuck his head back under the hood. "Most definitely."

"Yeah." Glenn agreed. "I mean, they don't have much relationship besides a physical one. And man, I heard her talking to him last night about getting-"

"Ew. Stop," I said. "That's disgusting."

He shrugged. "You were in her place a year ago, Arken. Did you ever talk to him about that freaky shit?"

"No!" I hit him in the arm. His laughter rose.

I ignored him and pushed my way past him. I rested my hip against side of the hood.

"What are you doing anyways, T-Dog?"

"Checkin stuff. We're thinking about heading out of state. Gotta make sure the car can handle it."

"Mind checking my truck after?"

"Already done."

I gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Thanks."

"Anything for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you flirting with me?"

He laughed. "Not a chance. You're not my type."

"Good," I shot back. "So where out of state are we headed?"

"Texas probably." Glenn answered. "It's the best option from here."

I'd only been gone for a few days, but it felt like I had missed months. And maybe it was technically months in our time. I hated that they had made a decision without me, though I know they didn't have a choice. It made me feel out of the loop.

I spent the rest of the day with Glenn and T-Dog, working on the car. He actually ended up taking something out and doing something to it. I couldn't tell anyone shit about cars so I was the handy man who just stood around and held wrenches. Anything was better than doing laundry.

I'd strayed away from the rest of them women since we'd left the farm. They talked a lot and that was something I was trying to avoid. After the initial shock wore off and I started talking a little more, all that came out of my mouth was spiteful things, and it seemed they didn't appreciate that much. Glenn and T-Dog found it much more amusing. Plus they didn't expect me to talk about my feelings…. most of the time. Glenn could be nosy.

T-Dog finished the car around six and I pulled myself off the dusty ground and walked inside with them. Most everyone was already there, sitting around. There were a few cans of green beans on the coffee table.

I took a can for us to share and sat in a spot next to T-Dog. Scanning around the room, I noticed Rick and Daryl weren't back and that Taylor's eyes were avoiding mine.

Vennessa sat on the couch opposite of me, legs crossed and smiling brightly. I chewed on a cold green bean.

"Ya'll are so nice." She said he eyes meeting mine as if to say _well, not all of you._

I swallowed the tasteless vegetable. "Thanks."

"No problem." She said, meeting everyone's eyes again. "D's got a nice group here."

It's not his.

Abi walked in from the kitchen with Lori and I patted my leg, handing the can to T-Dog. She smiled and climbed up on my lap.

"Bellie, why does she call Mr. Daryl that?"

I shrugged. "Why don't you ask her?"

She looked to Vennessa. "Why do you call Mr. Daryl D?"

Vennessa tilted her head in an overly sweet smile. "That's what he called himself when he showed up at our camp. We didn't figure out his full name for a few months."

"Why did he call himself that?"

She met my eyes. "Well he told us that he wanted a fresh start. That there was a certain…_person_ he wanted to get away from. That he couldn't _stand._"

I could feel my face grow hot and my nostrils involuntarily flare.

"Who?" Abi asked, innocently.

Her smile widened. "I think we all know."

I could feel everyone's eyes shift to me. She was lying. She was just trying to get under my skin.

"Guess he won't be that persons _only exception_ or whatever she called it. Yeah, he told me. He told all of us."

Rage set my body on fire and moved Abi off my lap and stood up. I started to stomp off when we heard the distinguished sound of a motorcycle. I stopped, not knowing if I should go outside and kick Daryl's ass or stay inside and think about kicking his ass.

I chose the first option.

I moved for the door just as I head the engine cutting off. Lori was saying something behind me, probably trying to stop me from whatever I was about to do, but Daryl was already standing there when I opened the door. I hadn't spoken to him since we gotten back, or even so much as glanced at him. I didn't need to. I didn't need him anymore. But I _did_ want to rip him out for talking about me to Vennessa. That was uncalled for.

The words were on my tongue and about to come out when he stopped me.

"Get your stuff," he said looking around the room. "We found a prison."


	7. Chapter Seven- Propositions

Propositions

"A what?"

"A prison?"

"Where?'

"When are we going?"

"Why?"

"Is it far?"

"Is it big?"

"Are there walkers?"

The group was bombarding Daryl and Rick with questions as they stood in the middle of the living room. Rick held his hands up, telling everyone to hold the questions.

"We found a prison. Maybe 20 minutes east through the woods. It's big and it looks secure." He said, slowly.

"Are we going?" Carol asked.

"That's what I want to know," he said, looking around. "I have to tell you that there are walkers there. I don't know how many exactly but enough that we'll need all the hands we can get. Are we a go?"

Everyone looked around unsurely. I stepped up.

"Lets do this shi-" I stopped looking down to Abi. "Stuff. Let's do this stuff."

I heard everyone laugh and agree behind me.

"Lets do it."

"Sounds good to me."

"Anywhere but here."

"I'm down."

"Lets go!"

Rick held his hands up again. "Are you sure? We can take the night to think about it."

"Rick, we're good. They wanna go, lets go," Daryl said. I heard everyone agree with him. Well, not everyone.

"Whoa, whoa. Are you guys sure this is a good idea?" Vennessa asked, stepping forward. "I think Texas or wherever you guys were going to go was a good idea."

"We're going to the prison," I said. "It's here. It's close. It's safe."

She met my stare. "We don't know that."

I sighed heavily. "You're not authorized to make decisions in this group. Or state opinions." I added the last part just to be a bitch.

"And you are? You're _crazy._"

I looked back to Rick before she could say anymore. "We're going."

He nodded once. "I know. It seems that everybody is a go on it. We're going to head out in fifteen minutes. Lori and Carol, get all the stuff. Put it in the cars. Glenn, T-Dog, Daryl and Arken get all the guns ready. Everyone else get your things together. Go to them for your guns when you're done. Got it?"

Everyone answered in a chorus of "yeah" and nods. We split up, everyone going their separate ways. I followed Glenn to the closet behind the kitchen where we kept the guns.

"They're all loaded," Glenn said. "Carry them out. I've got to get the other ones from the room." He said handing me my handgun, which I flipped the safety on and shoved my belt. I took the two others and jogged through the living room, dodging the abundance of people carrying things through the house.

Daryl and T-Dog were loading things into the car when I arrived. I opened the driver's side door to put the guns in when a hand grabbed the frame and stopped it from opening all the way. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Daryl.

"What are you doing?" he questioned.

"My job. Now move." I shot at him without facing him. He didn't.

I turned around slowly. He was uncomfortably close. "Now is not the time. Leave me alone."

"You can't put those guns in there. They need to go in your truck."

"I don't want six loaded guns in my cab. I'll have Abi."

"She'll go with Lori."

"I'm not going alone," I said.

He closed the door from over my shoulder. "I'll go with you."

I stared blankly at him. Was he fucking insane?

"No," I said. His arm still lay on the door so there was no way for me to escape without touching him and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Don't be stupid, Arken. You have enough room for three people. Me, you and-"

"Don't even say _its_ name." I said, referring to Vennessa. "Look, Daryl, I don't know what you're trying to do here, make me jealous or something, who knows but it needs to stop. We aren't friends. We aren't anything. I thought I made that clear."

"I'm not being nice. I'm being practical."

I rolled my eyes. "Go be practical somewhere else. I have enough room for Glenn and T-Dog. Your girlfriend will surely enjoy your Harley."

"Well I don't want to take my motorcycle. Too noisy. That's why I need you and T-Dog to put it in your truck bed."

I smiled sarcastically. "Ah, so this is about the motorcycle. You want me to do you a favor." I put a finger on my lip as I was contemplating. "How about no."

"Hershel's taking everything in the other truck bed. Looks like you're the only one with an open bed."

"Then it looks like you're out of luck."

He closed his eyes and leaned closer. I flinched away, ignoring the way his body heat danced across my skin, or how he still smelled the same. His closeness felt natural and exciting and that made me want to push him away as far as I could. He didn't get to do that.

"Don't be difficult. I don't care if you hate me, but you're jeopardizing the whole group." He said quietly.

I stared at him, my skin hot with anger and his closeness. "Fine. Put your stupid fucking motorcycle in the back of my truck. Just as long you leave me alone from now on."

He didn't say anything but he didn't move, either.

"And the next time you talk to your girlfriend about me I'm… I'm not going to be so nice."

He laughed. "Is that a threat, little girl?"

"You bet you're ass it is."

He rubbed his chin, studying me. "You've changed."

"And you said I wouldn't. Again, you were wrong," I spat. "Oh, but I shouldn't say more. I don't want you running off to tell the Loch Ness monster and then her rubbing it in my fucking face in front of _my _group."

He looked at me as if he didn't believe she would do that.

"Ten minutes ago. _My_ group Daryl. My friends. That stuff I told you… that was confidential. It was between us."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," he said, simply.

"And you really had you're fingers crossed about that one."

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't play dumb. A _fresh start,_" I reminded him.

His eyes squinted. "We both started over."

"Guess so."

"Our choices were a little… different," he said, looking me up and down. I realized fully that the tables had turned. He was the mature one now. He was the responsible one. The level headed one. He was everything I wasn't anymore. And for the first time…. it got under my skin.

I tried not act bothered. "People change under circumstance. You had to be a leader. You did what you had to do." I looked down. "I know that now."

"But you still hate me," he said. It wasn't a question.

"Completely," I answered truthfully. I understood what he had to do but I would never forgive him for doing it. I would never be that strong.

He nodded and pushed his way back from the car smoothly. He didn't say anything as he walked away, and slowly but surely the ache in my chest rose again. I felt the sudden need to clutch my middle, but looking around I saw that we were almost ready to go. Glenn came jogging out of the house.

"Arken, get those guns in the tailgate of Hershel's truck," he said, then went over to T-Dog, who was already lifting Daryl's motorcycle into my truck bed.

I put the guns into Hershel's bed and then met Maggie at the driver's side window.

"Ricks leadin. I'll follow him and then you'll follow me."

I nodded. "Sounds good."

We took off in our separate ways and I saw Abi get into Ricks car with Lori. If I didn't think Lori would take good care of her I would have ran over there. But she was in good hands. Better than mine.

I gave Rick the go ahead and then pivoted around to my truck where T-Dog sat.

"Where's Glenn?" I asked him.

"He rode with Maggie and Taylor and Vennessa."

"Traitor." I said, laughing. I found the key on the dash and let my truck rumble to a start.

"Hold on a second, we got someone else coming," he said.

I knew who he was talking about immediately

"Are you serious?" I asked scowling. He shrugged.

"Him and Glenn switched places. Don't ask me whose ideas it was."

"Probably not his," I said as Daryl appeared out of the house, closing the door behind him. He carried his crossbow over his shoulder. Rick pulled out after Daryl climbed in my truck beside T-Dog.

"Everyone ready?" He asked.

"As ever," T-Dog answered.

I was silent as I looped around the small driveway, following Maggie and shifted into gear on the main road.

"You really should learn how to drive a stick shift properly," Daryl said to me.

"You really should learn how to shut your mouth," I said.

T-Dog whistled under his breath. "Ya'll really do got problems."

"I'm not the one with the problems," I said, turning the wheel more aggressive than necessary.

"That's funny." Daryl said. "You think _I_ have problems," he laughed quietly to himself.

"You're bitch does. The Loch Ness monster. She tried to kill me."

"You tried to kill her. For guns."

I shifted the truck again. "I wasn't actually going to kill them."

"Just like you weren't going to become a monster like the things walking round out there."

My heart came to a sudden halt and my whole body froze. It was that night that I'd said that. That I'd rather die then not be myself. But this was not my fault. How I was wasn't on me. If I could have controlled it I would have.

Wouldn't I?

I cleared my throat and pretended like I didn't care about what he said. "You don't know me," I said. "Not anymore."

"You're right about that."

T-Dog made an awkward noise in between us. "Remind me to ride with Glenn next time you two ride together."

"Don't worry about that. It won't happen again," I assured him.

"I'm sure she'd throw my motorcycle off the back if I didn't come. That the only reason I did." Daryl said.

I smiled to out at the road sarcastically. "There's still time."

T-dog elbowed me softly in the ribs. Over the past few months he had become my filter and the peacekeeper. But there was no peace to keep here.

"You need to grow up, little girl," Daryl said.

"That's exactly what I did."

We drove the rest of the way in silence. I rolled my window down when the stuffy cab got uncomfortably quiet and let the sun and wind blow across my skin.

I followed Maggie as she turned down a side road through the woods. We crossed over train tracks and a sudden memory flashed through my mind of sitting on the tracks with Dean when we were kids, band-aids on our knees and licorice in our mouths. I really wanted to know where he was. But I would never know, and I would never see him again. I was smart enough to know that.

It was only five minutes from the tracks that we saw the prison. It was a large concrete building surrounded entirely by woods and two large fences. There were three watchtowers, and I couldn't help but think how good that would be for look out. The field had a few straggling walkers, but other than that it looked pretty clear. The cars in front of me pulled up the gravel drive, Glenn was sticking out of a window shooting walkers already.

Ricks gun was out another window, shooting the other way. We all came to a stop and I watched as the all jumped out, moving quickly. I unfastened my seat belt and hopped out, following T-Dog and Daryl who were already ahead of me.

"Arken. Stay close," Daryl yelled over his shoulder. I picked up the pace and caught up with them. Rick was ahead, beating down on the prison gate with a hatchet. The group had their guns pointed around them, waiting for the walkers. He'd broken the lock by the time we caught up to them and he slid the gate open.

We all rushed inside, and he clipped the gate shut behind us. We moved through the narrow passage between fences before we came to the second gate. He hatched it open again, and then clipped it when we were inside. The grounds were big and wide open but there were walkers all around. We would take time to absorb the grounds after we got rid of them. I split to the right with T-Dog and started shooting all of them that I could. Two went down. Then five. Then ten.

We'd gotten most of them by the time we had to reload. T-Dog shot me a smile before aiming and firing again. I couldn't help but smile back as the walkers fell to the ground.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw that the rest were down on their side. There were only a few left when we got to the main gate. Rick got us inside again and we locked the rest of the walkers out behind us. There were more on the outside now after we'd fired so many shots, growling and clawing at the gates.

"We haven't had this much space since we left the farm," Carol called out.

I could feel everyone smile for the first time in a long time. This was hope.

"We need to get inside. Daryl and I are going block of the cellblock. That's where we'll stay," he pointed to the group of women. "Do you all have your guns?"

They nodded. "Okay. You all follow T-Dog and Arken." He turned to us. "You guys follow us."

T-Dog and I agreed, and then formed our tight formation. I made sure Abi was carefully tucked into the group. We made our way toward a door, realizing that it was guarded off with a fence. Rick broke away form the group with the hatchet and broke the chain in one swing. He swung the gate open with ease. No walkers came rushing out.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. I turned back to smile at T-Dog but his eyes were wide. I snapped my head back when I heard the first snarl.

Pouring out of the gate was a mob of inmate-dressed walkers.

Oh shit.


	8. Chapter Eight- Gone

Gone

"Shoot!" I yelled to everyone out of instinct, but their guns were already up. It only took seconds before our tight formation was broken and the group was split up. I took off with T-Dog and Carol, shooting at whatever I could.

I was running hard and fast behind Carol who was running hand in hand with Abi with gun.

"Carol!" I yelled at her. She turned around but didn't stop.

"Take Abi and go hide somewhere!" I ordered over the gunshots. She nodded, and I knew that's what she had already been doing.

I turned back and fired more rounds. Only a few went down before I heard a scream.

Carol.

I tried to turn around but a walker was only inches from me, and by the time I could crane my neck around to catch a glimpse, the walker was already on Carol.

I had no choice besides to turn around and send a bullet into the walkers head, but a few others were already swarming around me.

I shot again, but it only fired once before I heard the heart-sinking _click._

I was out of bullets.

"Shit!" I yelled out, and then I reached for my old knife that always sat in my boot. I pulled it out and sent it through the skull of the nearest one.

A scream sounded again and I kicked one back while pulling the knife out of the others head and sent it into another. There were too many.

Right on time, an arrow landed in ones head and a crow bar went through another. When they fell I saw Daryl and Taylor already turning back around to get the rest of them. I'd have to thank them later. I turned quickly, and started running toward Carol before I could even assess the situation. My eyes snapped into it just as a walker dug its teeth into T-Dogs shoulder.

"No!" I screamed out. "T-Dog!"

He groaned in pain and I sent a bullet into the inmate's head. T-Dog looked to me and then to Carol. T-Dog was bit. It had just happened before my eyes.

My best friend was going to die.

I tried running for him but my knees wouldn't let me and I noticed Carol was standing alone. Abi was gone.

"Where's Abi?!" I yelled, but it sounded more like just a scream. The sound of it scared me. It was guttural and raw and painful.

I wanted to run to T-Dog but he was gone. He'd been bit. There was nothing I could do anymore. I had to find Abi.

Enraged tears ran down my face as I searched for my baby sister. She had to be around here. She must have run off when the walker got to Carol and T-Dog. Where could she have gone?

I ran frantically through the courtyard, yelling her name and wailing about T-Dog. My vision was blurry and I didn't know where I was running but I was running as hard and fast as my heart was beating. I had to find her. I had to find her. I had to find her. I screamed again, only to be met by silence. I stopped running when my knees began to buckle out from underneath my weight. I was ready to hit the ground hard when someone caught me in their arms.

"It's alright. It's clear," Daryl said. "Lori's got her." I was crying and screaming into his shirt, unable to move.

"Look around, Arken. It's done. It's over. We gotta get inside."

I pulled my head up to see that the courtyard had been cleared. Him and I were the only ones out there.

Realizing that he was holding me, I pushed back from him, wiping my face furiously.

"Where are they? Where's Abi? T-Dog he… he got bit. Where's Lori? Lori, I need to talk to Lori." My words were rushed and slurred and frantic.

"Calm down," he said. "Everyone's okay. They're inside. Where's T-Dog and Carol?"

"He got bit! I don't know where he went!" I yelled. "Carols gone too, isn't she? She got bit! Didn't she?"

"Arken!" he said, grabbing my shoulders. "It's okay. Everything's okay. Calm down."

I flinched out of his grasp. "Don't tell me it's okay! He's gone you idiot! Why do you have to be so stupid?" I cried out. "He was my friend. I loved him!"

"He might not be bit, Arken. You could have–"

"I saw it!" I sobbed. "He's gone. Everything's gone!"

"Why don't we just go inside? Maybe you should get some sleep-"

"I'm not going inside until I find Abi."

"Arken, she's in there with Lori. She's already getting her bed set up."

"You liar!" I screamed. "This… this place was just full of walkers! There's no way you could I have gotten them all out so quickly!"

"You've been out here for an hour. We didn't know where you were. We thought you were…_ I_ thought…"

"What did you think? That I was dead? Maybe it would be easier that way, huh?" I said in a low voice.

His eyes turned to slits. "Don't say that. You got your little sister in there waiting for you to come back. And four days ago you almost didn't because you wanted to be selfish."

I moved toward him. "I did that _for _my group."

"No ya didn't. You wanted to steal the guns because you were bored and you wanted to prove to yourself that you've changed into some hard ass that you're not."

"I _have_ changed." I said.

"I know you," he said. "You haven't changed. You just wanna think you have."

"You wouldn't know!" I yelled. "You chose not to, remember?"

"I know exactly who you are, Arken," he said. His voice sounded like he didn't want to be having this conversation. "Inside and out."

"You used to," I stated. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'll always know you?" He shot back.

Probably not enough.

"I don't want anything to do with you," I said quickly.

"Stop lying to yourself."

My eyes cut into his. "You're stupid if you think I'm not going to throw myself into _that_ fire again."

"You don't have to. I'm not asking you out," he said sarcastically.

I wiped my eyes again, my tear ducts seeming to dry up. "Go back to your girlfriend, Daryl. I don't need your help."

"I never said you did."

I took a step closer to him. "I don't need you to protect me anymore. Look where that got me."

"You're alive," he said.

"Barely." I think we both knew I was talking about on the inside. He didn't storm off or direct his eyes away like he would have a year ago. He was mature now, he was a grown up. And I was just the stupid kid still holding a grudge. But that wasn't my fault.

"You have a life now, Daryl. A girlfriend, a group, a responsibility. Whatever was between us… it was toxic from the moment it began. You knew that." My voice caught in my throat. "You've moved on. I've moved on." I wasn't sure where I was going with this but I felt like it needed to be said and I felt now was the time.

"You're right," he said. "But I… _do_ care about you. As a member of our group. And I think that as a member you should trust me as a leader.

"I trust you… with my life." It was true. I knew I'd never be in psychical danger around him. Emotional danger was a different story.

"But that's it?"

"You can't ask for more."

"I don't want more."

We stood there in silence, our minds both racing for the first time since he'd come back. It was a day of firsts, I suppose.

"We need to get inside," he said.

"We need to look for Carol." I replied, turning around.

He caught up to me. "I'll look for her tomorrow. I don't think we'll ever see you again if you go off on your own."

"I'm fine. I'm okay. I need to find her."

"Arken, let's go back inside," he said to me like I was a toddler.

I shook my head. "No. I want to find Carol. She'll know where T-Dog is. I have to find T-Dog." Tears sprang to my eyes again. "I have to say goodbye."

Daryl tried to grab me but I jerked away. "T-Dog!" I screamed, spinning around. "T-Dog!"

"Arken. Stop."

"T-Dog!" My voice was shrill and desperate now, and I took off in a run, trying to swerve around the left side of the building. I don't know how long it took Daryl to catch up and put a hand over my mouth. I screamed and jumped in his arms, trying to get away. I had to find T-Dog. I had to find Carol. I had to save her. I had to say goodbye.

"Please, Arken. Stop this."

"Let go of me!" I screamed into his hand.

I couldn't stop crying and wailing and my chest rose and fell hysterically. You think I'd be used to death by now.

"Stop," he said once again.

I turned around in his arms and tried to pound on his chest but he wouldn't let me go.

"I don't love you anymore! I don't love you!"

Daryl's face was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

I woke in an unfamiliar room, but after sitting up, I realized it wasn't a room at all. My head spun and pounded and I grabbed my temples furiously, wishing the searing pain away. I was in a cell, sitting on the bottom mattress of a bunk bed. I stood up, noticing someone had put my stuff on the top bunk. The barred door hung open and I slipped out of it. Lori and Carl sat on a bed together in the cell opposite of mine.

"What time is it?" I asked, groggily.

"Just sunrise," she said, looking at me in what I couldn't mistake as pity. She rested a thin hand on her swollen belly.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

She nodded to the right. "The cafeteria. Found a good amount of food."

I thanked her and padded off in the direction of her nod. The prison had high ceilings and gray walls. It was cool and dark, but in a relaxing kind of way. I passed under a set of stairs that led up to the second story of cells and found my way to an open door. I could make out the group sitting at a couple of the tables through the early morning light streaming through the high windows.

"... Freaked out. Then… passed out…..brought….back inside…" I heard sections of Daryl's words and realized quickly that he was talking about me. I moved behind a wall that jutted out before anyone saw me. I stood close to the edge, hoping to make out their conversation.

"She said T-Dog was bit," Daryl said. "Then she passed out. Probably exhaustion. Dehydration."

"Was he?" Rick asked.

"I think so. I mean you should have seen the way she freaked out," Daryl said.

"We heard it," I heard Glenn say.

"That doesn't mean much," Rick said. "Right after you left Daryl, she… became unstable. She would wake everyone up in the middle of the night crying or screaming or something."

No one said anything for a minute. "Why?"

"I think we know," Maggie said, her voice quiet and awkward.

"Whoa, you're saying she freaked out because of _him_?" Vennessa shot in. "D, I thought you said you guys weren't that serious. That sounds pretty serious to me."

I almost wanted to smile at the sound of the envy in her voice.

"It's the past," Daryl said. "So when did that… stop?"

Rick sighed. "I don't know. One day she was hysterical and the next she woke up and she was a different person."

"She was mean," Glenn said. "But I kinda like her better that way."

I tried to hold back a smile like I'm sure Glenn was at that moment.

"She was getting better," Rick said. "This is the first time she's snapped in a long time. Since Abi got sick probably."

"She watched T-Dog get bitten," Daryl said, almost defensively.

"We've all seen someone get bitten," Rick replied.

"He meant a lot to her," Glenn said. "Probably more than anyone besides Abi. But it seems Lori's raising her anymore. Arken's never around long enough."

I felt uncomfortable listening to them talk about me; hiding behind a wall and listening to other people tell my story and talk about how I felt. They weren't wrong, but it still didn't feel right.

"What was she like then? Before all of this?" I heard Taylor ask.

No one said anything at first, but Maggie spoke up. "She was normal. She was nice. Soft spoken, gentle."

"So basically the exact opposite of now?" he asked, chuckling.

"Yeah," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "I still love 'er though."

"She's not _okay_ anymore though. She's not Arken." Daryl said.

"She is," Glenn said. "Just a little different."

I decided enough was enough and I slipped backwards to the door and then took a big, loud step like I'd just walked in. I tried to smile as I walked toward them, but the strained muscles around my mouth told me I'd failed.

"What's up?" I asked as I approached the group, trying to be nonchalant.

Their conversation ceased, and I would have known something was up even if I hadn't just been behind the wall.

"About to eat. You want something?" Rick answered.

I shook my head. "I'm good, thanks." I took a seat next to Maggie. She gave me a guilty smile.

I wasn't angry at their words. It wasn't the first time I'd over heard them talking about me, but I wasn't angry back then either. I may be unstable, but wasn't in denial.

"I'm… um… sorry about last night." I said. "Have you found Carol?"

Daryl answered. "I've been looking. No luck."

I tried not to meet his eyes. I remembered my words from the day before. I remembered what I'd shouted just before I blacked out. If T-Dog had taught me one thing, it's that sometimes your pride will be the only thing you have left, and sometimes that's okay.

"Has anyone else looked?" I asked. Their silence gave me the answer.

"Of course not," I muttered under my breath. Vennessa glanced at me sharply.

"Sorry, while_ you've_ been asleep and blacking out and shit _we've _been setting up in here."

I could tell by every ones faces that they agreed with her. They actually agreed with the bitch.

"You're right. It's my fault that I'm unstable. Guess I just snapped again, huh? My bad," I shot at them, then turned on my heel and stomped out of the room. I ran into Abi on the way out.

"Abi," I said, but she back away from me a little.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She looked down and wrung her hands.

"Abi," I said again.

"Lori told me that I should spend time away from you because you're not healthy. I didn't want to, but she said that you need to get better."

I could feel anger and hurt and betrayal stab into my chest. How dare she tell my sister to not be around me. How _dare_ she.

I moved past her, ready to scream at Lori but she caught the hem of my shirt.

"No, Bellie. I don't want you to yell at her like you yelled at Mr. Daryl. It scares me."

My heart sunk to a low pit. I couldn't help it and I clutched my middle.

"Abilene go to Lori. Please," I said quickly. She didn't move.

"Please," I begged, like she was the mother and I was the child. It seemed that way anymore, though. I wasn't there for her. I was never there for anyone.

She looked hurt and ran off the other way. I locked myself in a supply closet and slid down the cold, concrete wall. Alone in the darkness I felt it all.

The world had hurt me, like it had hurt everybody else alive. But I had fallen for one of its tricks again. I thought I had found my salvation, I thought I had found the one thing that I'd never have hurt about, the one thing I didn't have to numb myself for. The one thing that made me feel again.

But it was gone. All of it was gone. He could be standing three inches in front of me, but would never be inside me like he used to be. The only place in my soul he would touch anymore was the part that he wanted. And that's why I felt nothing.

I wanted so badly to be at Hershel's farm. I wanted Abi to love me and adore me and follow me around with her auburn hair braided with flowers. I wanted Patricia to laugh at my stories and T-Dog to wake me up in the morning. I wanted everyone to hate Shane on the outside but still love a part of him on the inside like we all used to. The farm was more of a home then my home ever was. The people were more of a family then I'd ever had.

I let the cold tears fall down my face until there weren't anymore. Things were falling apart. They hadn't been together since that night, but things were just turning to shreds before my eyes. And the worst part was there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.

I sunk down to the floor and stared into the black nothing that surrounded me.

I felt it all in the darkness.


	9. Chapter Nine- Awake

Awake

I didn't come out of my closet until around noon. I made sure that my tears were dried and my eyes were clear before I took a shaky step outside.

Everyone's eyes glanced up at me as I passed their cells, headed for my own. I heard laughter coming from Daryl and Vennessa's as I passed somberly. I didn't even have the energy to scowl at the stupid bitch that was laughing. I would make her pay later. If I could get out of bed.

I made my way to my cell and crawled into the stiff bottom bunk and threw the thin cotton sheet over my head. I stayed like that until I heard someone tap on the bars of my cell.

"Rick wanted me to check on you," Daryl said.

I didn't come out from under my sheet. "You did. I'm fine. Goodbye." I said, my voice hoarse.

"You sure?"

No.

"Yes."

I didn't hear him leave so I threw the covers off of my head and sat up.

"What do you want, Daryl?" I asked, exasperated. But suddenly my mind flew back to eight months ago. The day we left the farm. The last day things were okay.

_"What do you want, Daryl?" I said._

_ He smirked. "I'll answer that truthfully, if you really want me to."_

Daryl's footsteps into my cell snapped me back to the prison. He stood over me, looking at me with strained eyes.  
"You need to stop this shit," he said, suddenly. His voice was quiet and harsh. "What the hell?" I asked, sitting up.

"I'm not kidding, Arken. You have the whole group worried. A stupid melodramatic kid should be the least of their worries," he said.

Believe me, I know.

"Who said they're worrying about me?" I shot at him, trying to defend myself.

He scoffed. "You heard everything Arken. You know what they think about."

"So?" I said. "What if I do? Don't you think I'd stop _this_ if I could?"

He waited a few seconds to answer. "I don't know anymore."

I stood up, my legs wobbling a little. "Really? You really think I'd put my group through this if I had a choice?"

"Like I said, I don't know anymore," he said. "You were right. You have changed."

"Is that all you came here to say?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"No," he paused for a moment, as if he was holding something back. He looked at me sternly and took a deep breath. "I don't think you should be taking care of that little girl anymore. You're just hurting her."

All the air left my lungs and hot, familiar anger erupted through my body. How dare he? He didn't know anything. None of them did. They were all wrong. Abi loved me and I loved her and I would never do anything to hurt her. She was my sister, my best friend. My savior.

Just as I was about to blow up on him when her face came to mind. Wide, hurt eyes looking into mine, begging me to not yell at someone else. Begging me to be okay. To stop screaming and crying. Then turning away from me, running off to Lori, the woman she was with all the time now. The one who took care of her.

He was right.

Of course he was. He was always right, wasn't he? I wasn't my little sisters protector anymore. I wasn't her crutch. I was her unstable older sister. Her burden.

I didn't realize I was crying until I saw Daryl's reaction. It was like his face was saying _not again._

I dropped my arms from my waist and plopped back down on my bed. Daryl sat down on the edge. He saw that I was admitting defeat.

"We're here for you," he said, awkwardly. "We want the old you back."

I wiped a tear away. "She's not here anymore."

"We just want you to get… better."

I scowled through tears. "This isn't a fucking intervention."

He made a sound that almost sounded like it was supposed to be a laugh. "Remember what you told me?" he asked.

"No," I said. "But I bet Vennessa does."

He sighed. "I didn't tell her everything, Arken. I just needed to vent some stuff…"

"And make fun of me?"

He glanced at me. "I didn't make fun of you."

_Sure._

"What did I tell you?" I asked.

"That you'd rather die than not be yourself."

I was silent. I remembered that night clearly. I remember every word.

"You also said you wouldn't leave me," I countered.

"That's different," he said, awkwardly.

"Yeah," I laughed, sadly. "Because I believed you."

He didn't say anything for a second. "I'm sorry that it happened that way," he finally said. "I want us to be friends."

I thought for a moment. Friends? It was considerable. But that would have to wait. He already knew the truth about everything, so why not shoot another truth at him?

"I can't do that," I said.

His brows pushed together. "You can't _do_ that?"

I wiped my drying face again, thankful that the tears had stopped.

"I can't be around you. I can't handle that."

"Why?"

Was he really that clueless?

"Because I don't want to have to be around the man that hurt me more than anyone or anything when I'm trying to heal," I said, bluntly. Another perk of the new me. I didn't hold back. Maybe I'd keep that part.

"You're still not over that?" he asked, almost incredulously. "We need to move on."

"I know," I said.

"Then why don't we?"

I sighed. "I don't want you anymore. I'm not asking for you back. I don't love you…maybe I never did. I don't know. But being around you isn't helping to scab over whatever it is that needs to be fixed. So can you please… I just need space."

Even before the words left my mouth I could feel how untrue some parts were, but I didn't know which ones. I hoped he didn't catch on.

He didn't say anything at first, but then he rose off the bed.

"Anything," he said looking at me for a moment. "But take it easy then. If I can't be here to look after you then you need to learn how to do it yourself. For Abi's sake."

I stared at the floor and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

He stood there for a moment then turned to leave, but stopped at the cell door. I looked up to see him looking out to the rest of the prison.

"Be nice to Taylor," he said. "He doesn't deserve whatever you're doing to him."

And before I could say anything he was gone.

Doing to him? I wasn't doing anything besides being friendly to him. Maybe too friendly? I didn't know. I didn't know anything, really.

Sleeping was a better option. But I wasn't that _weak._

I got up slowly, rummaging through my bag for clean clothes. I changed quickly into cleanish, ripped jean capris and a small white tee. I threw my combat boots on and laced them up quickly. I combed my hair and put it under my Royals hat. I took a deep breath. I had to do this for Abi. I had to.

I exited my cell, closing the door behind me.


	10. Chapter Ten- Progress

Progress

It didn't take long for the prison to become comfortable. About just as long as it took me to feel better. Of course, there was probably correlation between the two.

"Hey Arken." Lori said as I walked into the lunch hall. We had been in the prison for nearly a month and everyday I had made progress. I know Abi didn't trust me, but it was getting better.

A week or two ago we found five inmates who were still alive and as Rick put it "out of control,". I don't know what happened for sure because the men didn't trust me enough to help them, but one of the inmates, Axel, was still with us. They "took care of the rest." Daryl had found Carol, to every ones surprise, and she was still alive and well. She was back to normal too, and I was happy to see her sitting next to Maggie, laughing.

I smiled and took a seat next to Taylor. We had gotten closer over the past weeks. He strayed away from the group a little, and I had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that Daryl was so close with Rick. He only had Taylor as his wingman until he had Rick back. It made me feel bad for him, but he didn't seem to take it personally. He helped me take some old scrap metal in a back room and make a sword-looking thing that we called just that, 'the thing.' We took the thing out too the courtyard everyday to practice swinging since we didn't have enough bullets for target practice. It was fun, and it made me feel better.

"Swinging practice later?" I asked, leaning into him.

He smiled down at me. "Of course. You wanna battle again?"

"Only if you want to get your ass kicked," I shot back. He smiled and looked down at the runny oatmeal in his bowl.

"You want the rest of this?" he asked, but I already had the bowl to my mouth before he could finish his sentence. I tipped it back and gulped down the dull tasting oats.

"Hungry much?" Glenn joked from the round table off to the side where he sat with Rick, Hershel and Daryl.

I wiped my lips with the back of my sleeve and stood up. I grabbed Taylor's hand pulling him up with me. I waved goodbye to the group and skipped out with Taylor in tow. I skidded to a stop at my cell and grabbed The Thing. It was broom handle with two pieces of matching shrapnel at each end. I also grabbed our first draft version of The Thing for Taylor to use. I pulled him out to the courtyard, closing the gate behind us. Abi had followed us once, and I didn't want her to be around something so dangerous and easy to use. It was also nice, just him and I. Though I must admit Glenn made it pretty fun when he wanted to join.

I led us to our usual spot where we had set up sacks of hay stacked up to create a sort of small wall we punctured a tore at everyday.

"Let's see how much you've improved since yesterday, grasshopper," Taylor said. I smirked and bowed like the smart ass I was and tossed him his weapon. He caught it swiftly by the handle.

"You really shouldn't throw things like that," he said.

I shrugged. "You caught it, didn't you?"

He laughed and pointed to the hay sacks. "Alright. Throw it at the middle sack, make it stick, do a backflip, then retrieve it."

I rolled my eyes. "You're on."

I turned toward the sacks and raised my weapon. I closed my left eye and threw The Thing straight at the middle sack. It landed dead center with a _whoosh. _I turned around and stuck my tongue out at Taylor, and then just to rub it in his face, did a cartwheel as a substitute for a backflip. About halfway through the air I realized I was nowhere near coordinated enough for it and ended up falling on my ass. Taylor was leaned over with his hands on his knees, hysterical with laughter when I looked up. I rolled over on my side in pain and laughter. He started to move toward me to help me up but stopped and leaned over again, laughing.

I grabbed a handful of grass and threw it at him, but the chunk broke up in the air and drifted back to the ground. He started laughing harder.

I stood up after my gut hurt with laughter and ripped the thing out of the hay, giggling a little.

"What the hell was that?" he gasped. I tried to scowl, but my smile wouldn't let me.

"Shut up," I said.

"I'm just glad you didn't try the backflip."

I threw my head back with laughter. "That would have been horrible!"

He laughed along with me. "We gotta get back to practice, Arken. We only have so long."

"We have until, like, lunch, Taylor."

He shrugged. "Or dinner. Or tomorrow." He stuck a hand out and pulled me up.

"You can't enjoy spending _that_ much time with me," I said playfully.

He smiled. "I feel like we've gotten close these past few weeks."

"Maybe because we have," I said. "Hey, now it's your turn. Top left sack."

He gave me 'that's easy' kind of look and lifted his weapon. I put a hand on the pole before he released it. "With your eyes closed."

He glanced at me and then shut his eyes tight. He chucked the Thing number one at the hay blindly, and too my utter surprise he hit the lower half of the sack.

"Damn, Scott." I said, sounding a whistle under my breath.

He smiled triumphantly as we walked to the hay sack together. "You can tell when shit's serious if you call me by my last name."

"Hell yeah. I'm not even going to pretend I coulda done that."

"You're right about that." He laughed, taking the Thing from out of the sack. He bounced it in his hands. "I guess I'm just good with my hands."

I rolled my eyes. "If that was sexual, save it for Vennessa."

He winked. "I think she already gets enough from Daryl."

"Ew. Enough," I shot at him.

He gave me a devious look. "Don't tell me you haven't heard them."

"I sleep with a pillow over my head," I lied. "So no."

He gave me a punch in the arm. "Liar."

I hit him back harder. "Well at least I'm not the creep that stays up listening to whatever goes on in there."

He was about to say something defensive when I held the Thing up. "Say no more, Sensei. Your pupil will turn deadly."

He laughed. "Calm yourself, grasshopper."

I was about to fake stab him when I heard the gate open behind us. I turned around to see Daryl striding toward us, crossbow in hand.

I turned away toward Taylor, avoiding eye contact with him.

"You goin' on a run?" Taylor asked him as his boots crunched closer.

"Yeah," Daryl grunted. "Get your stuff. We're goin' all the way to Fairview so we're probably stayin the night somewhere."

Taylor looked to me. "You gonna be alright here by yourself?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You go ahead. Spend some time with the guys."

"Not sure runs are about bonding time but whatever," he said smiling.

I smiled back. "I'll be good. Just uh… be careful. I don't want anything bad happening to my Sensei."

"Will do, grasshopper," he said, saluting. He turned to Daryl and started walking but Daryl didn't. He faced me, not saying anything for a second.

"Rick wants to know if you want to go," he finally said, his voice quiet. "He's gotta stay here with Lori. Just me, Glenn and Taylor."

I stood there, contemplating for a moment. It would be the first time I went out since we'd gotten to the prison. I needed to get out again. It would be a good thing. I think.

"Yeah. I'm down." I said.

Taylor smiled. "Awesome."

Daryl simply turned back around.

I caught up with Taylor and followed him back into the prison, letting Daryl walk ahead of us.

"It'll be good to get out," I said, trying to convince myself.

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad you're doing this."

"Me too."

Inside the prison, I departed from Taylor and went to my cell. Abi had been sleeping on the bunk next to mine and I saw that she had already made up her sheets, probably under Lori's direction. She was good about keeping them normal.

I changed into a fresh tank top, and found my handgun under my mattress. I slid it into my belt and slid my knife into the holster. Abi was standing in the doorway when I turned to leave.

"Where are you going, Bellie?" she asked.

I leaned down to her height and pushed her hair back from her pale face. "I'm goanna go to town and get some things. I wont be back until tomorrow. Can you sleep with Carol tonight for me, Abi?"

"I can sleep alone," she said.

I grabbed one of her hands. "I want you to sleep with Carol. Just like you used to at the farm. It'll be fun. Like a sleepover."

She looked to the ground. "Okay, I guess."

I squeezed her hand. "Thank you. I'll be back before you know it."

She looked up and smiled. "You better."

I kissed her cheek laughing. "I might even sing for you when I get back if Lori tells me you were good."

Her eyes shot open wide. "Really?"

"Of course," I said, knowing I'd sing for her either way. "Now go find Lori. I gotta get going soon. I love you. Be good."

She nodded. "I love you too, Bellie."

I gave her a little nudge and she ran off, giggling. It was good to have her back. Normal and healthy and giggling. I watched after her before she disappeared into the lunch hall to find Lori.

Taylor appeared from he metal stair case, his boots clanking down the stairs. I met him at the bottom.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Beyond."

"Good. Daryl and Glenn should be waiting out by the car. We're just goanna take Rick's."

"Alright."

We walked outside to find Daryl and Vennessa leaning against the car side by side, and Glenn already behind the wheel. I said a silent prayer that she wasn't coming with us.

"Hello, Arken," she said, almost too civilly. "Have a fun time on you're trip."

Then she looked me straight in the eye as she turned to Daryl, grabbed his collar and kissed him long and hard. His eyes were open the whole time, but he grunted and put an arm around her waist.

I looked away, feeling something turning over in my stomach. She smiled as she let him go and walked her way back up the gravel drive way to the gate.

"Well then," Taylor said, awkwardly.

I made a disgusted noise and then got in the backseat.

I sat in the seat behind Glenn and Taylor took the one next to me.

Glenn looked through the rearview mirror once before making a U-turn and pulling away.

"How close are we?" Taylor asked leaning to the middle to look out the windshield. Daryl shifted impatiently.

"Not too far," Glenn said. "Five minutes at the most."

"What are we going for?" I asked.

"There's a nursing home and a motel we're going to canvas. Rick saw them on his last run but he didn't have enough time to look through them."

"Do we even know there's anything worth value in there? If we're just wasting our time…" Taylor trailed off.

"Rick wouldn't waste any ones time," I said, defensively. "He's smart. He knows what he's doing. He always does."

I heard Glenn agree from the front seat.

"It doesn't hurt to question," Taylor said, turning his gaze back out to the window.

"Yeah, no I get it," I said.

He might have been about to say something when Glenn announced that we were now in Fairview. There wasn't much of a change in scenery; the place was still an apocalyptic town like the rest of the world.

We went to the nursing home first, since it was right off the highway. There found a good amount of Aspirin, but other than that nothing. We took whatever what we could get though. We drove around the deserted town looking for the motel, the sun sinking low behind the trees.

"That was kind of a bust," Taylor said.

"We'll have better luck at the motel," I said, trying to be optimistic.

Hopefully.

We eventually found the small motel with the help of once electric Chelsea Motel sign that stood on a basic black pole. It was a long, curved strip of small, connected white rooms on the edge of town. It gave of a beachy feel, or probably once did. I could almost picture it with all of the beach chairs in place on the porches and the gravel lot full with cars and people. It would have been pretty.

There weren't any walkers in sight, so Glenn pulled up to what looked like what would have been the main office building. We all got out with our guns drawn, just incase.

The door to the office was sealed and it was apparent no one had cared to try scavenging supplies at a motel. Daryl kicked it in easily, and we entered the musty smelling room. There were a few office chairs and glass case full of room keys behind a large oak desk. Glenn went for the desk first while I moved for the door hidden in the corner, figuring it was a supply closet. I opened it with ease and was met by a large stack of packaged food and cans.

"Oh my God," I breathed.

The men appeared over my shoulder. "Fuckin jackpot." Glenn whispered.

"This was some ones stash, I bet. They probably left for a run or something and never came back," Taylor said.

"Or they're on their way." I suggested.

Taylor moved into the closet and picked up a bag of chips. "December 20, 2010," he read.

"Still look good to me," Daryl said, pushing his way into the room and grabbing the chips from Taylor. He ripped them open, smelled them, and then popped a crunchy handful into his mouth. We waited for his response.

He shrugged and pointed the bag toward us. "Taste fine."

The sight of the bright yellow bag made my mouth water and I was the first to stick my hand in a grab a handful, shoving them into my mouth. And man, did they taste fucking good.

"They got a couple six packs, too," Taylor said, lifting the bud light off the shelf. Daryl grabbed on quickly and desperately, cracking it open and chugging half the can in only a few seconds.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had alcohol?" Taylor said, reaching for one himself. "Too damn long."

"About as long as it's been since you've had a smoke?" Glenn asked, pulling a pack of half smoked Malabo cigarettes from the shelf.

Daryl was the only one that smoked so he put the pack in his breast pocket.

"Alright," he said. "Load everything but the chips and beer into the trunk. Glenn, look for candles or hurricane lamps."

We did as we were told and shoved the stockpile into the car. I wanted to jump up and down thinking about the groups reaction when they saw all of this food. I could hardly wait.

It was dark by the time we all met up back inside. There at least twenty big, white candles and small ones with tin around the edges scattered on the desk and a few hurricane lamps.

"Is everyone sleeping in their own room?" Glenn asked.

Taylor looked over to me before Daryl answered. "Yeah. Everyone in their own rooms."

Glenn turned to the glass case behind him and slid it open. "Pick a key, Dixon. Any key."

"Seven." He said. He'd picked the one in the bend. Glenn unhooked the key and tossed it at him.

"Arken?"

"Uh. Six?" He unhooked mine without question and threw it at me.

"Scott?"

"Five."

"Guess I'm goin' with four then." He said, unhooking the first key on the second row. "Everyone take some candles. We'll save the lamps for the prison."

We obliged, and took an arm full of candles and a small box of on-the-go matches.

Taylor walked me to my room, holding my candles while I unlocked the door.

Inside was dark and I felt around for something to put a candle on. I found some kind of flat surface and took a candle from Taylor and lit it. It lit up the small portion of the room, but after tripping and stumbling around I finally managed to get them all lit. The room was not as bright as it would have been with electricity, but it was close enough.

The room wasn't cozy, but it looked comfortable. The bed was big and white and carpets were a sandy brown. There was a bathroom to the right and a small counter with a sink to the left.

I sat down on the bed while Taylor set his arm full of candles down on the counter.

"So I guess this is goodnight," he said, examining the room.

"Guess so."

He dusted a few flakes of wax off of his shirt and crossed to me. He took a seat next to me on the bed.

We sat in silence for a moment before he shifted a little closer to me.

"You know, I'm glad that I met you," he said.

I gave him an awkward sideways glance. "Yeah, me too. You're a good friend."

He shifted a little closer. "Can I ask you something?"

A worried feeling settled into the bottom of my stomach. Did Taylor like me? He was a good friend and all, but by the way he was leaning in closer to me I think he might have mistaken it for more.

I cleared my throat. "Not if it's what I think it's going to be."

He smiled his usual, wide Taylor smile. "Arken." He reached out a pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. I flinched back a little, but he kept smiling. "Do you ever see us as more then friends?"

I took a deep breath and tried swaying away from him. His arms caught my back like he was doing me a favor, and suddenly his lips were on mine. They were soft and gentle and it was a surprising feeling. I suppose that's a natural response for someone who hasn't kissed someone in almost a year. I moved my hands to his chest to push him away, but he deepened the kiss, leaning into me even more. I pulled away from him and we were both breathing heavily.

I sprang up from the bed quickly. "What the hell was that?" I shot at him.

He stood up. "You.. didn't like it?"

"I don't like _you,_" I said quickly. "You're my friend. You can't kiss me."

"Why can't we be more?"

"Be-because. I'm not ready for any of that yet."

His innocent face suddenly turned a little angry. "Then why did you act like it?"

"What? I never acted like I liked you… like that."

"All those days we spent together? All that flirting? You can't tell me it was just friendship."

I swallowed hard. "It was for me."

He was silent for a moment. "Really?"

"I'm sorry."

He nodded, but continued to stand there. I would have left if it weren't my room.

"Really, Taylor."

He shook his head this time. "I should have known. You know, I always suspected you never got over D. Well have fun with that." He turned to leave.

I stood there stunned at his sudden outburst. "What?" Was all I could say.

He turned back to me. "I said have fun chasing after a guy with a girlfriend, _Arken._ He doesn't love Vennessa. Hell, he probably doesn't even like her, but guess what? _He still doesn't want you._"

This time when he turned to leave, I let him. He slammed the door on his way out, making me jump.

I could do nothing but stand there for a few minutes before deciding what to do. Taylor was right. Maybe I hadn't ever gotten over Daryl. I knew that I would never get over what we had on the farm, but I was sure I was over _him_. Sometimes you don't miss the person, just the memories. Well maybe I missed both.

I walked to my door a little shaky, and shut it quietly behind me. I took a left on the porch and stood at the little bend in the long motel. I stood outside of Daryl's door for a good five minutes before mustering the courage to give a weak knock.

I didn't expect him to answer.


	11. Chapter Eleven- Chelsea Hotel No 2

Chelsea Hotel No. 2

"Yeah?" Daryl grunted from inside.

I contemplated just walking in, doubting he'd let me in if I said it was me. I expected a 'go to sleep' or 'whatcha want', but when I told him it was me he paused for a minute before saying, "Come in".

His room was dimmer then mine, and he was sitting in the corner chair, cigarette in hand and a beer on the coaster bedside him. He had an old car magazine in his lap, which he didn't look up from when I entered.

I shut the door behind me and walked awkwardly through the room, sitting on the only other available space, which was the bed.

I was expecting him to ask what I was doing, but instead he flipped a page in the magazine.

"Where's the beer?" I asked, after a deep breath.

He glanced up and then pointed to the right side of the bed. I leaned across it, stretching my arm down and grabbing one from the cardboard case.

I leaned back up and cracked it open, taking a thirsty sip, smacking my lips at its bitterness.

"Never pegged you as a drinker," he said, looking back down at his magazine.

"I drink," I said, taking another sip.

He flipped another page. "I would too after that conversation with Taylor."

The beer seemed to stop halfway down my throat, causing me to choke a little. "You heard that?"

He took a long drag of his cigarette. "I'm right next door, sweetheart"

I brought the tin can to my lips and sucked nearly half of it down in one gulp, praying the buzz would kick in soon.

"I told ya, didn't I?" he said, putting the cigarette back in his mouth and letting it hang there while inspected something closer in the magazine.

"Told me what?" I asked, my voice a little raspy.

He took the cigarette from him mouth, blowing smoke. "That he liked you."

"You never said that," I countered.

"Not directly," he said, his mouth lifting into hint of a smile.

"How was I supposed to know? I thought we were friends…"

"He is your friend. You know what they say, friends don't let friends sleep alone."

I scoffed, taking another swig. "Yeah, and they also don't sexually assault you in motel rooms."

He almost laughed. "It was just a kiss. Least that's what it sounded like on my side of the wall."

"Well, yeah, it was. But-"

"So you freaked out cause he kissed you?"

"Yeah, but only because I thought we were friends. Just friends."

He smirked, taking one last drag of his cigarette, and threw the butt into his half full beer.

"That's wasteful." I said.

He shrugged. "Don't really have a taste for beer anymore. Shit's stale anyways. If only they had some liquor…"

"I'm not much for liquor. Beer's all right, I guess. It smells like my childhood, that for sure." I said, smiling.

"That a good thing?"

I nodded. "My mom used to drink beer while cleaning on Saturday nights. I'd help her fold laundry while she drank a bud and watched SNL." I stopped, an aching feeling resonating through me. I don't like thinking of the past. Well, at least not that far back.

"Smells like my childhood, too," Daryl said, shutting the magazine and throwing it on the small table beside him, stretching his arms above his head. "Mine was a little…. less innocent."

I swished another gulp around in my mouth before swallowing. "Shit happens."

He pulled out another cigarette and lit it with candle on the table. He took a long drag before saying anything and I couldn't help but thinking lung cancer had never looked so good.

"This new you is starting to grow on me, Arken," he said, adding a small laugh.

"And the old one?"

Another smoke. "Might have been a little better."

Another drink. "How?"

He rubbed his eyes brows with his free hand. "You were innocent when you were young. You hadn't let the world get to you yet." He paused to laugh. "Who woulda thought I'd be the one to change that."

I finished off my drink and set it on the banister. "You did what you had to do. I know that now. Didn't have anything to do with me."

"I still didn't mean to hurt you."

I bit down on my lip. "It's okay. I'm okay now. Really."

He watched his cigarette burn. "Why do I doubt that?"

I scratched at my cheek, absentmindedly. "It doesn't matter. You've got Vennessa. I've got… Taylor. Might take a little getting used to, but Abi likes him. Like I said, we've moved on."

He was silent for a moment. "Maybe we haven't."

His words caught me off guard. I searched his face for any trace of sarcasm or mockery, but there was none.

"Since you showed up at my camp, Arken, I've wanted you to forgive me. Or look at me the same and shit. But you can't, I can tell that much. I didn't know I'd hurt ya that bad, but I didn't get off free, either. Believe me."

I chewed on his words. I wanted to believe him, or maybe I didn't. Either way, I couldn't seem to.

"Easier than me. You got a girlfriend."

Daryl gave a sound that sounded like laughter. "Girlfriend? Vennessa and me… we just fool around. Ain't nothin' serious. She knows that."

"Obviously not." I shot back.

"She fucking Taylor," he said. "I think she makes it seem serious around you because she wants to make you jealous or somethin'. Taylor makes it seem serious because he obviously likes you-"

"Whoa, back up. Taylor… and Vennessa?"

"Don't tell me you never suspected it." He said.

I shook my head. "No, Taylor doesn't even _like _her."

He smirked and took another drag. "Neither do I."

I raised an eyebrow. "So you're just using her… for sex?"

He shrugged. "Aint like she don't know it."

I inhaled sharply. This whole time I actually believed they were in love. I thought she hated me because she loved him so much. Guess I thought a lot of things.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I thought you were… in love with her."

He laughed. "Not even close."

This explained a lot. This explained why I never actually saw them talking. There was probably nothing to talk about. All they needed each other for was someone to have when they were bored or lonely. That was it.

"Oh," was all I could manage. We sat in silence for a few moments before I plopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

_"I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel. You were talkin' so brave and so sweet…" _ I sang, absentmindedly.

"Good ole song." Daryl said from his corner. "But I don't think the next line would be age appropriate."

I sat back up and gave him a scowl. "I'm 23."

He took a drag of his cigarette through smiling lips. "Then sing it."

I shot him another evil look before going back on my back.

_"Givin' me head on the unmade bed while the limousines wait in the streets."_ I sort of sang, my face inevitably getting hot.

I could hear Daryl chuckle from the corner while I kept singing.

"You're just jealous I can sing." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else.

"I'm the jealous one? Try again, kid."

I sat back up and stared at him. He was sort of smiling.

"I'm not jealous of you," I said, sternly.

He stared at me intently for a few seconds, his eyes searching. "You're jealous of Vennessa, aren't you?"

I answered too quickly. "No."

"Don't lie."

"I wouldn't."

He took another drag. "Truth for a truth?"

My eyes narrowed while I contemplated. "You first, then."

He shrugged. "Alright. Whatdya wanna know?"

I thought for a moment. There was only one thing I wanted to know, but asking it wouldn't be easy. Oh, what the hell.

"How do you… feel about me?"

He didn't answer right away, but instead searched me again through squinted eyes. "I dunno."

"Doesn't count. You have to answer."

He rubbed his chin. "Alright. You're a pain in the ass."

"That all?"

He shook his head.

"That's not fair." I scowled. "You have to tell the whole truth."

Another drag. "I will after you admit you're jealous of Vennessa."

"No. You can't do that."

He smirked. "Just did."

We sat there, one of us angry and the other amused before I sighed, letting it go.

"Give me a drag." I said.

He laughed. "No."

"Why not?"

He inspected me. "Have you ever even had a cigarette, Arken?"

"Yes." Once.

He smirked. "Come get it then."

I slid off the bed, reluctantly and stood in front of him. He held the cigarette up to me and I took it. I put it in between my thumb and pointer finger, put it to my lips and sucked in the nicotine. I stifled a cough as I handed it back to him.

"Gross, idn't it?"

I tried to get my breathing under control. "Fine to me."

Suddenly he stood up, his body almost sliding against mine. I backed up a little, thinking he'd probably want some room, but to my utter shock he kept moving forward toward me.

"Uh…" I said, looking at his chest and then to his stern face. He looked at me intently, with solid eyes. But once he got within centimeters of me, his face lingered close to mine before he moved passed me and sat on the bed.

"If you don't mind," he said as he lifted his shirt over his head. My breath caught in my throat as he smirked and lay back, crossing his arms behind his head. Muscles flexed and contracted all over his arms and torso and I had to force myself not to look at him as I crossed to the other side of the bed, searching the ground for the beer.

"I need another drink," I muttered under my breath. My eyes lingered on the Norman tattoo he'd told me about so long ago on the left side of his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I grabbed a can and cracked it open, gulping it down. "Don't play this with me, Daryl."

"What are ya talkin about?" he asked, innocently.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "If you think this is going to make me admit I'm jealous, you're wrong."

"So you _are_ jealous?" he mused.

My hand clenched around the can. "No."

"Liar."

"Okay. So if you're not trying to get me to admit that, for arguments sake, I'm _jealous_, then what are you doing?"

I watched him smirk at the ceiling. "Tryna get you back."

Without being able to help it, I laughed, choking on the beer that was halfway down my throat. I waiting for him to join in, and when he didn't I stared at him, searching for the sarcasm that wasn't there.

Wait…

"Are you being serious?" I choked out.

He didn't say anything, but instead sat up. I tried to focus on his face and not his bare torso.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said. "I didn't mean to do it. Ya know that right?"

I gulped. "I-it's okay."

He shook his head. "It's not. It hasn't been for a long time."

I was silent, letting the truth of his words sink in.

"I had to sit back and watch you… cry and flip shit because of me. Don't know if that or watchin' you go off with Taylor was harder," he admitted.

I put my beer down on the table next to the chair and turned back to him.

"You don't think it was hard watching Vennessa stick her serpent tongue down your throat? Or _hear_ you guys..."

"It was a distraction," he said, simply.

"So was Taylor," I said. "He made me feel better. Like everything, with you and Abi and our group was okay. For a while." Kind of the way you used to make me feel.

"Good," he said. "I still wanna kick his ass."

"Because he kissed me?"

"What do ya think?"

I sighed. "Don't beat him up. I was fair game, after all."

"You were never fair game when I was around, babe," he said with an arrogant smirk.

"Don't start your double standards shit."

He shrugged. "I didn't see you runnin after any guy but me."

I glared. "I never ran after you. I've been spending the last month doing quite the opposite, actually."

He smiled. "Yet you're here."

I bit down on my lip.

"No," I said. "You don't get to just do that. You can't just walk back in my life and…" I trailed off, noticing the way Daryl was looking at me. It was the same look he'd given me when we were together. His jaw was tight and his sticking out on the sides, and I didn't know why but it looked _insanely_ sexy.

"What were you saying?" he asked, his eyes scanning down my body. I wasn't sure if I wanted to run out the door or tackle him onto the bed.

Both were impossible options.

"I was saying… that… you can't…" His eyes met mine again, mischievously.

Oh shit.

"Come here," he said, his voice was amused, but rough and demanding at the same time.

"No…"

He lifted an eyebrow. "No?"

I shook my head. "What about Vennessa? A-and Taylor? And you.. you're supposed to stay away from me."

"I've never really been one to follow the rules."

"I have."

He smiled. "Good girls love bad boys."

"This isn't a good idea." I insisted, my mouth spitting out what my instinct shouted. The rest of me… that was a different story.

"I know it aint'," he said. "But you want it as bad as I do."

My whole body was set on fire. "Want… what?"

"Me… us."

I was silent, breathing heavy and trying to swallow his words. Realizing I wasn't going to come out of shock anytime soon, he stood up form the bed and crossed to me. I didn't move as he closed the distance between us.

His entire body touched mine, pushing me backwards to the wall. I was crushed between the two solid surfaces. And no matter how badly I wanted to run away like a child because I knew whatever we were going to do shouldn't be done, I couldn't help but never want leave this spot.

His lips lingered centimeters from mine. "Tell me it's okay," he said, his voice raspy and demanding.

He was giving me a choice. Stay with him and throw myself back into the fire or run to safety and cold, lonely comfort.

Unfortunately for me, my choice had been made a long time ago.

His breath lingered on my lips and I felt myself slipping into the same place I had been a year ago. And it had never felt so good.

"Okay," I said, but his lips were already on mine before I could finish. I died a little on the inside when they did.

Daryl was kissing me. I thought it would never happen again.

His lips were hot and controlling, as were his hands as they wrapped around me. I threw my hands onto his bare chest, scanning over the hard plains of him. He grunted and picked me up, pulling one leg to wrap around him. Naturally, the other followed, and I straddled him as he pushed me further into the wall.

His arms found their way under my legs and he directed us toward the bed, our lips never parting for more than a millisecond.

It took him three steps before we landed on the mattress, his body hovering over mine. He pressed himself against me and slipped one of his legs in between mine, shifting his hips into mine. I groaned.

I tangled a hand in his hair, pulling hard. He took his lips from mine, only to set them on my neck. He sucked hard and bit down on my skin, his body moving against mine the whole the time.

His lips were still connected with my neck when he moved for the straps of my shirt. He pulled one down, and then shifted so he could pull the other down. He slid it down to my belly button, leaving me in my bra.

I arched my back and pulled his lips back to mine. He trapped my lower lip in between his and I couldn't help but bite down, causing him to moan.

His body pressed harder into mine before we flipped around, putting me on top. I put his hips in between my legs and ran my hands down his torso again as his free hand settled on my hipbone and guided me closer to him.

When I didn't comply right away he flipped us back over, me underneath. His mouth grazed across my overheating skin, tickling me with his stubble. I tangled my hands in his hair.

"Daryl." I said, breathlessly.

He kissed my neck again, groaning. "Baby."

"Daryl," I tried again. "When… you… said that you… were never mine…" My voice trailed off and his mouth grazed my jaw. Before we went any further I wanted to know if he'd really meant that the night he left. And I wanted to know now when he was vulnerable and when some of his walls were down.

He stopped and pulled his face back to mine. "I meant it."

My heart dropped. "Then why are you… why are you here?"

Then it suddenly it occurred to me. I was Vennessa. He was using me. If he didn't have Vennessa, there was me. I was option two. He was just bored. Just lonely.

An ache punched me in the chest as I pushed him off, sliding out from under him. His hands left my body and mine left his, leaving us breathing heavy on opposite sides of the bed. I shot up, almost landing on the case of beer.

"Arken, where are you going?"

I whipped to him. "I'm not _Vennessa_. You can't just use me whenever you want me because you know I'll never get over you. I'm pathetic, aren't I? Just sitting around waiting for you."

He was sitting up on the bed, and I pulled my shirt back up as he stood up.

"That's not what this is about," he said, sternly.

"I don't believe you. You just said that you were never mine."

He took a deep breath and stood up, crossing to me. I wanted to move away from him, but my legs wouldn't let me.

"Maybe not. But you were always mine. You still are."

"That's my decision," I said, shakily. "Not yours."

He waited. "Well. Let's hear it."

I narrowed my eyes. "I hate you more than I've hated anyone else."

His face reacted like I hadn't even said anything. "Anything new?"

I shook my head as he moved closer to me. "Tell me that you forgive me."

"Tell me that you want me for more than one night, Daryl," I said, trying not to let him distract me.

"You already know that answer."

"I don't."

He smirked. "I'm always goanna want you. Always have."

I took a deep breath.

"Tell me you forgive me," He said again.

I nodded. "I forgive you." And I hated myself for that.

He arms wrapped around my middle, pulling me to him. "Do you mean it?" He breathed into my ear.

"Yes."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because there's a difference between forgiving and forgetting."

He pulled me even closer to him, his hands slipping lower on my waist. "Let me make you forget."

"Not tonight," I said against his shoulder. I pulled back, and his arms dropped with a deep breath.

"Goodnight," I said, moving for the door.

"Wait," he said, grabbing my arm in that all too familiar way. "Sleep in here."

"Why?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You really have to ask that?"

I was silent for a second. "I have candles burning..."

"You'd have them burning even if you were sleeping in there."

"What are you trying to do here, Dixon?" I asked, almost playfully.

He moved a step closer. "I'm tryna tell you I can't sleep another night in my bed without you in it."

I took in my breath a little too quickly and it made a weird gasping noise.

He smirked. "I take that as a yes."

"This… really isn't a good idea."

"Neither am I," he countered.

"Yeah," I said, searching his eyes. "Guess my mind keeps forgetting to remind me of that."

He smiled and I slipped out of his arms, heading for the bed. He blew out a couple of the candles and got in next to me. Our bodies found each other and I drifted off in his arms. His face was the last thing I saw before I slipped off, and despite having trouble written all over it, I hadn't felt as safe as I did in that moment in eight months.

Eight long months.


	12. Chapter Twelve- Fighter

Fighter

"Oh my God." I heard Glenn say as Daryl and I walked out from his room and into the early morning light. Taylor was shoving something into the trunk of the car, but stopped dead at the sound of Glenn's words.

So much for a low profile

I snuck a look up at Daryl who was giving Glenn a small glare. Glenn's face was a mixture of shock, and amusement.

"Well, well. If it isn't the two star-crossed lovers back together again," he laughed.

"Shut up." I scowled at him. He smiled.

"You know, I don't think Vennessa will be too happy about this," he said.

I shot a look at Taylor, who was loading the car with supplies. "I don't know. Why don't we ask Taylor? After all, he knows more about Vennessa then he likes to lead on."

Taylor slammed the trunk and stalked around the car to the drivers seat.

Glenn looked to Daryl. "Did she _just_ figure that out?"

Daryl shrugged.

Glenn took a step closer to me. "Oh shit, Arken. What happened to your neck? There are so many bruises. Was there an attack?"

I scowled. "Shut up Glenn."

He was probably going to go further with it when Daryl spoke up. "Did you get the rest of the food? And lanterns?"

He nodded. "All in the back."

"Good."

Glenn stood there a little awkwardly before pointing a backwards thumb to the car. "I'll just… go make sure it's all there." He said, and then jogged off.

"I have a feeling the rest of the group isn't going to take it so… easily," I said, turning to Daryl. He stared at me in silence for a moment and I started to feel uneasy. I knew these silent moments all too well.

"Is this the part where you tell me that you're not good for me? And that you love Vennessa and last night was a one time thing?" I asked.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Fraid not."

"Good," I said, punching him. "It's a first."

He sort of smiled. "I'll get my stuff. You go along with Glenn."

I looked over my shoulder to the car. "Taylor's…."

"To hell with Taylor," he said, just as Taylor's eyes snapped to us. Quickly, Daryl pulled me into his arms. I knew what he was doing.

"No need to add insult to injury," I said over his shoulder.

He pulled me back to kiss me on the forehead. "He deserves it."

"For what?" I laughed. "Kissing me?"

He shrugged.

"Hypocrite," I said with a smile.

He looks past me to Taylor. "You know, I thought ya actually liked him. Sure made it seem that way at the prison."

"I did," I said. "Just not like that. I still like him though."

His eyes come back to mine. "Do you love him?"

I stare up at him. "Yeah, I love everyone at the prison."

He nods.

"Don't you?"

He only stares down at me.

"Oh that's right," I said, mocking his southern accent. "Daryl Dixon don't love nobody."

He glares at me, but a smile breaks through.

"You love all of them, and you know it," I said. "You even love me."

"You'd like that, wouldn't ya?" He laughed.

"Don't even try to deny it."

"I ain't."

"Then say it."

He gives me an annoyed look.

"C'mon, Daryl. Say it, say it, say it."

"Will you shut up if I do?"

"Yes."

"Fine," he said. "I… love… the prison."

"And?"

"And everyone in it. Happy?"

"Yes." I said, smiling. The happiest I was in forever.

"I bet you the rest of the beer that I can make you _more_ than happy," he said.

"Challenge accepted." I shoot.

"Alright." He pulls me close to him, and moves his lips close to my ear. "I love everyone in the prison the same, with one exception."

I smiled. "And who's this only exception you speak of?"

"She's an annoying chick who cut all her hair."

I laughed. "Hey, I didn't cut it all off. It's still pretty long."

"Who said it was you?"

"Okay," I said, laughing again. "How do you love this hypothetical girl differently than all the others?"

He kisses my temple, but doesn't answer.

I didn't need one.

He pulled back to look at me, and as he stared down at me with his pale eyes, I couldn't help but feel that everything was right again. Maybe the world wasn't as bad as it seemed, or at least it felt that way when I was near him. He gave me something to look forward to. He gave me hope.

Deciding to be bold, I pulled him into a kiss, laughing.

"I really do like this side of ya better, Arken," he said when we pulled back.

"Me too," I said, laughing again.

I hear Glenn and Taylor open their car doors.

"Guys…" Taylor says, and I was prepared to turn around and scold him, but before I could, I heard the rumble of engines skidding down the street toward the motel. Daryl and I both turn to look at them.  
There is a large white truck followed by a smaller black one.

They were heading straight for the motel.

"Shit," He said, grabbing my arm. "We have to go."

"Daryl, they might be… nice. We don't even know who it is."

"I don't care. Come one." He growls, pulling me along with him. "We have a shit ton of supplies that they probably don't. They'll kill us for it."

I stumbled behind him, knowing he was completely right.

"Hurry!" Taylor says to us, ducking back into the car. Glenn follows on the opposite side, but doesn't even have time to start the engine.

The trucks skid to a stop, dirty men wearing black bandanas in various ways start hopping out with guns. Five of them surround us before we could even think about moving.

Daryl puts himself in front of me, and I grab the sides of his shirt like a scared child. Maybe that's what I was. That's sure what I felt like as the men cocked their guns.

"Looks like some shit heads raided our hide out, John," A large, balding man says, spitting.

A small, dark skinned man laughs pointing his gun at Glenn. He steps away from the car with his hands up and Taylor does the same.

"Took all our food, too!" A younger one said, peering into the back of the car.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," the ringleader said, shooting a round into the air.

_As if the diesel trucks weren't enough, you stupid motherfucker. I hope that attracts a herd._

"What do you think we should do with 'em, Donny? Feed 'em to the Roamers? Shoot 'em dead?" He laughed. "We could do both."

"You can take your food back," Daryl said. "We can both go our separate ways. No trouble." I was thankful that he sounds more like Rick than himself.

The man turned to smile at Daryl. "Whatcha got hidin' behind ya?"

I feel his body tense. "We ain't lookin for trouble. We'll leave the food and go."

The man walked forward, slowly. He stopped halfway around Daryl, looking down at me.

"You know, we ain't seen a girl for months, and you sure are one of the prettiest I've seen in a while."

He reached out to touch my face, but jerked back.

_Please don't hit him, Daryl. He'll kill you. Our guns are in the car. He'll shoot you and you'll die and then we'll all die._

I screamed my thoughts at Daryl, hoping by some miracle he'd hear me.

He didn't.

He jerked around quickly, putting himself in between the dirty man and I.

The man smiled up at Daryl, standing nearly 3 inches below him. He raised his gun and smashed the bottom against Daryl's forehead without warning. I cried out as he fell to the ground.

I fell to my knees, shaking him and commanding him to wake up. A steady pool of blood gushed from his head, and I used my hands to try and stop it.

I felt the man throw me away from Daryl, and I landed with a thud on my back. He raised his gun as he sauntered toward me.

Rage burned though me, completely overriding fear. It coursed through my veins, itching to hurt the disgusting man that was coming at me.

He'd kill me if I didn't kill him.

I kicked my foot up, digging the heel of my boot as hard as I could into his groin. He made a noise then fell to his knees. I scrambled up, trying to grab the gun from him, but my hands were still wet with Daryl's blood. I heard the doors of the other truck opening and shutting, feet running toward me.

I kicked him in the side, sending him on his stomach and tried for his gun once more, but a fired shot sent me to the ground next to him.

The bullet missed me, hitting a wood beam of the motel behind us with a splintering sound.

A hand pulled me up by the collar, and a barrel was pressed into the back of my skull.

"You'll pay for that," a man says.

"Stop!" I hear someone yell. I look up just in time to see Taylor running away from the car. He almost makes it into the street.

He goes down with a single shot to the head.

I couldn't even scream. I could barely breath.

Daryl moves on the ground, but the black man takes a boot to his side. He grunts, and rolls over. His head pulls up just enough to meet my eyes. He gets another kick and becomes immobile again.

I looked at Glenn as he's pinned against the car with a shotgun in his back, and all I could think of was Maggie. I looked to the corpse laying halfway in the street, and all I could think of was Abi. I looked down at the man I love as he's beaten ruthlessly.

I needed to get Glenn back to Maggie. I needed to get back to the prison and break the news to Abi that he was dead, and he wouldn't be the last. I had to help Daryl. I had to do a lot of things, but as I stared down at my shaky hands with the barrel of a gun against my head, I couldn't help but feel hopeless.

They would be okay without us. Abi would be okay. She was strong and the group would always be there for her. They were just as much her family as I was now.

At least I had the opportunity to know Daryl and the group. If this was how the world was destined to be, then I couldn't be more grateful that I got to spend my last months with people like them.

I looked at Daryl as I waited for a final gunshot.

But it never came.

"Put the gun down, Jerry," a husky voice says. "Now!"

"But,-"

"Let me take care of this one."

He curses, and I feel the pressure of the gun disappear and he pushed me forward. I didn't stop to look at the man who saved me for a few more seconds. I ran to Daryl, dropping down beside him. If we were going to die, I 'd rather it be with him

"Get up," the voice said.

"Kill me," I said. "Go ahead. I don't care anymore. If you're going to do it, just do it. I won't beg you."

Daryl's eyes open a slit and I grab his hand. "We're going to be fine," I said. "I'm here." One side of his face is wet with blood, the other side with dirt. I try to wipe some of it off, but it only mixes together. I try using my shirt but that doesn't work either. "I'm here," I say again, but what I mean to say is "I'd just gotten you back. I thought we'd have longer."

"I'd get up if I were you, Isabelle," the man said, abruptly.

My blood turns cold. Every muscle in my body seems to freeze. The tightness in my chest becomes unbearable. He knows me. How does he know me? I let go of Daryl's hand, and it drops to the ground with a thud.

I turn slowly, without standing up. The man who stands before me is tall and blonde, wearing a smirk. He looks me up and down.

"Been a while, huh?" He asked.

I couldn't say anything.

The man before me was my old best friend. The same boy I'd left in my old life when I found my new one at the farm. Only he wasn't a boy anymore. More importantly, the man in front of me was the man who loved me, but knew I'd never love him back.

The man before me was Dean.

He smiles the same boyish grin as he orders the men to tie Daryl and Glenn up. He saves me for last.

"Where have you been, Bellie?" he asks, tying a tight knot around my wrists. The rope digs into my skin, but I don't let the pain show. How dare he call me the same thing Abi does. How fucking dare he.

I don't answer and he kisses my cheek the way he had the last full day I'd seen him. But I don't turn away laughing this time. He kisses it again, hungrily. I resist the urge to spit in his face.

That was the only part of him was the same. Everything else was different. He was huge and muscular now, but at the same time his body looked twisted and slightly off. He was disgustingly amused as he stared at me.

The world had gotten to him. The Dean I knew wasn't inside there anymore.

He pulls me up and drags me toward the truck. A man follows him, asking him about 'the other two'.

He opens the truck door, shoves me inside, and then slams it before he begins talking to him.

"Yeah," Dean says to him. I can't hear what the other man says. "Just leave those two here after you get the food out. No, I don't care. Yeah, leave them alive. Someone has to tell her group that the Black Cards abducted her. Tell the Chinese one to say that to their group. And the redneck… leave him alive, but leave him bloody, got that? Go."

The man nods and jogs away. Dean walks around the truck, getting in on the drivers side. He doesn't speak, only smiles.

We drive off, leaving the Chelsea Motel in the dust.

I knew only four things in that moment as we continued further down the road in an unfamiliar direction. Four things that kept me from thinking this whole nasty thing was a dream.

One, Glenn and Daryl were going to be left alive. That was all I could ask for in that moment. I wish it were the same way with Taylor.

Two, I was being abducted by the leader of an apocalyptic gang called the Black Cards. Which was absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Three, the apparent leader of that gang was my old best friend. A person I'd trusted more than anything in the world. A person who I'd thought hit the road for Texas long ago, but apparently stuck around. Maybe to find me and get revenge for leaving him, or maybe they just ran out of gas he started a gang under pure circumstance. The latter was the least plausible.

And four, for whatever reason Dean had to stick around Georgia, it now had a purpose.

He was going to kill me. I could see it in his disgusting grin.

But there was not a single chance in hell I was going down silently. Daryl was right about me being different now. Dean had changed, but so had I.

I knew how to fight, and I knew how to survive.

And that's exactly what I'd do.


End file.
